Tuesday, October 5, 2010

More Wall Street Journal Humor - The Classic Fortune Teller Bit

Another Post Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper... and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.

A whole lot of effort went into drawing that cartoon. That is a great looking fortune teller and the folds in the tablecloth and chairs? Leonardo's Last Supper has nothing on this guy. That is one finely rendered drawing. Then you read the caption...

Whatthefuck? "I see a couch." Lame. Lamer. Lamest. "I see a couch." Really? Next time dude, give me a call, I'll throw you a bone for free. BTW, bone would be better. And where is the "in your future" part of the bit? As in, "I see a bone in your future." Don't eff with the structure of a classic. If it's short, it demands you include an "in your future."

"I see a couch." Lamer than a handjob from Bob Dole, you know, with his bad arm.

When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm just too stupid to understand them. But after weeks of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.

This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me, we'll talk.

As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch.
Even More Wall Street Journal Humor


  1. Bobby,

    A post without a Palin? How refreshing.

    A agree that the cartoon is well drawn -- except for the crystal ball. Crystal balls are shiny, sometimes with foggy images in them. That crystal ball has an undulating surface. A very strange aesthetic choice.


    I see nothing because I had to hock my crystal ball due to the downturn in the economy. This is Sarah Palin's brain. She lent it to me since she wasn't using it anyway.

    Because it looks like a brain and Sarah Palin is a stupid git.


  2. Bill,

    Thanks for the comment! ALthough its a little long.


    I see nothing because that's not a crystal ball, it's Christine O'Donnell's hymen. I found it under my bed when I was a freshman at Fairleigh Dickinson University.


  3. Bobby,

    Christine O'Donnell's hymen? If you think that's what a hymen looks like, I have a couple of virgins I'd like to sell you. Pay no attention to their fetid odor and itchy rashes.

    What's your problem with Miss O'Donnell? Haven't you ever met a woman that has not bumped ugly or masturbated for over 20 years? No? Would yo like to have dinner with me and the wife? Hey-Oh!!!

    Still dead, still got it,

  4. Bill,

    Yo! Yo! Yo!

    Didn't your coach ever tell you that there is no u in you!!!