My Baseball Card Collection

Over the weekend, while I was throwing out useless stuff, I found my old baseball card collection. I used to buy hundreds of packs of cards every spring -- the good ones I kept in a shoebox, the Carmen Fanzones and Horace Clarkes ended up on the floor of my closet where my mom would scoop them up and throw them out.

Here are the best of the best. I know these cards are worth a small fortune and as soon as Antiques Roadshow comes to New York I'm going to find out if I'm getting myself a Wii for Christmas or a BMW!

All the Greatest New York Mets Collection

I was a Met fan growing up and until Daniel Murphy showed up this year there was only one Met worth idolizing, George Thomas Seaver. Tom Seaver cards were so coveted that I used to glue and tape them to the cover of the shoebox so that I didn't accidently flip them or stick them in the spokes of my bike.


I've left the old yellowing tape on because I know that collectors of fine antiquities really go for the warm glow of a well-aged patina.

"Mr. Seaver? Please take of your warm up jacket for this action photograph."

"FU. I 'm afraid I'll get a chill."

Tom was a former marine and was against the Vietnam war. He also had a smoking hot wife. He was like a Kennedy at our house.

I saved the best for last. The official Tom Seaver rookie card. Back in the day they didn't waste real cards on rookies so Tom had to share his card. I didn't want any of the guys to think I was in love with Bill Denehy so I made sure everyone knew that I was a Tom Seaver fan.

My Hall of Fame Collection

Johnny Bench was like the white Roy Campanella. He hit like Joe Mauer and fielded like whichever Molina brother is really good at fielding. Catcher cards were always great for drawing little piles of poop.

I didn't know that Reggie Jackson would someday become Mr. October for the hated Yankees but how could I resist that pose? Just 11 years old and I already knew that drawing a penis was funny. It would be a few more years before I realized that drawing an erect penis was REALLY funny.

Damn that evil Nolan Ryan for getting himself traded to the Angels for Jim Fregosi.

Even I knew that Hank Aaron was going to be an all time great but my little brother didn't give a damn.

Mickey Mantle was the most hated player of the most hated Yankees. Here he is after an imaginary fight with Felix Millian. This card in near mint condition recently sold at Christies for $500,000,000,000,000,000. Yo! - I'm free friday night - hit me at facebook - no ugly chicks, rly!