Fun with Twitter: I Have a Conversation Of Sorts With Steve Martin

Yesterday I had a conversation with Steve Martin, my idol/hero/favorite person ever. Before twitter this would have been impossible. Thank you twitter!

I have been a Steve Martin fan forever. You haven't really laughed until you've rolled on the red shag carpeting in the basement of Dave Cunningham's house laughing at "Let's Get Small" while really high.

Just like Sam from "Freaks and Geeks," I had a Steve Martin Best Fishes Poster hanging on my closet door. And if I had ever managed to get a girl into that bedroom, while she gazed at the greatness of Steve, I could have recited word for word every SNL bit, every track from every album and every scrap of dialog from "The Jerk." Poor girls didn't know what they were missing.

"I was raised a poor black child" was my standard pickup line throughout the 80s.

So,when the REAL Steve Martin tweeted this yesterday I was ready, willing and able to respond.

Okay, its not his best work. I think it probably falls somewhere between the 82nd rendition of the Wild and Crazy Guys when Bill Murray replaced Dan Akyroyd and "Cruel Shoes."

Within a minute I replied with "When my twitter account isn't funny I put bologna in its shoes." And then followed within seconds with a carefully crafted additional reply, "Darn it, should have been I put bologna in the little bird's shoes."  I had created comedy gold, spontaneously, within the constraints of 140 characters. I awaited my idol's response, confident that my genius could not be ignored and that a possible mentor relationship might arise with little bird wings.

While I waited, I was disappointed to see that a guy nemed Chesney had snuck in and broken up my comedic run with a little ass kissing. Oh well, maybe it actually added to the timing.

So what did I get from Mister Bigshot Steve Martin? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. A bupkis sandwich. 

Could it be that Mister Bigshot Steve Martin's personal assistant doesn't remember that bit?

How Did Benny Hill Get So Effing Funny?

Another Post Courtesy of UK's Daily Mail - I kid Alfred Harmsworth, 1st Viscount Northcliffe a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

How did Benny Hill get so effing funny? Not bologna in his shoes. He just stole stuff from the Argos Catalog (probably catalogue on that side of the pond).

How many classic Benny Hill bits can you find on this single page of the 1976 catalog?


Here's some Boots Randolph to get you in the mood.

How many did you find? I found five.

1. The man on the stationary bike "accidently" increases the speed on the butt shaking machine, causing her boobies to jiggle. Then he "accidently" turns the dial to ridiculous speed and her bikini flys off.

2. An "erection" rises up from one of the guys on the rowing machines except it turns out to be a dumb bell. When the woman runs away, an "erection" rises up from the other rowing guy -- but he's looking at the man on the bike!

3. The guy with the chest pulling thing "accidently" lets go of one end launching it like an arrow. It hits a shapely, young bird right in the buttocks while she's bent over touching her toes. She slaps an innocent Jackie Wright in the face.

4. Macho man rips all the hair off his chest with that springy thing.

5. The couples with the ropes get tangled up so that whenever he pulls with his arms, her legs spread wide open revealing her camel toe or as the Brits say, her Jack the Ripper that's a krusty kipper.

How did you do?