Cougar Smackdown - Michaele vs. Danielle: Ripped from the Headlines

Can you imagine two more different readerships than those of the Huffington Post and the New York Post?

Let's see what the Top 5 most popular stories are today at these shockingly dissimilar news outlets.

1.Yankees take beanball battle; Damon rips Gardner

2. Zac Efron wants to be in 'Memphis' movie

3. IRS files lien against Naomi Campbell

4. Internet thorn in porn world

5. Salahi 'charity' raises zero at premiere party

1. New Jersey 'Housewife' FIRED?

2. Birther Queen Orly Taitz Smacked Down By Supreme Court
3. Kim Kardashian On 'Humiliating' Sex Tape, Her Hairless Body

4. Why We Should Actually Thank Dr. Laura for Her N-Word Rant

5. The Hidden Health Benefits of Alcohol?

Can you tell them apart? I color coded them to help you. The Yankees story is probably the biggest giveaway or maybe the 'Birther Queen' AP report which is not about Octo-Mom but about a dentist that is sueing somebody because Barrack Obama is not a U.S. citizen.

I had to look up Sahali. It refers to those attention whores that crashed a party at the White House. The wife, Michaele Sahali is the latest real houseslut of reality television.

Point is, nobody cares about real news.

Bam Aide's Joke Ignites Jew-haha: Actual headline torn from the NY Post

Another Post Courtesy of the New York Post - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

President Obama's national security adviser, retired General James Jones, apologized yesterday for a joke he told to a pro-Israeli think tank.

Here's the joke:

"A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, finds a Jewish merchant's store. The merchant tries to sell him an overpriced tie, outraging the militant, who suddenly realizes that the shop owner is a Jew. The Taliban blows himself up, destroying the store and killing the merchant. The merchant's widow still tries to sell the dead Taliban a tie."

While audience members laughed politely, Abraham Foxman, uptight Jew and the head of the Anti-Defamation League, told ABC News that the joke was "inappropriate," "stereotypical," and "quite frankly, not that funny."

Obviously, the problem wasn't the joke, it was the audience. What kind of schmuck named Jones tells a Jewish joke to a pro-Israeli think tank? The General got his speeches mixed up. He told the Israelis the joke he was planning on telling the Saudi Delegation to the International Women's Rights Convention.

This isn't the first time James Jones has had this problem. Remember this photo?

He was telling Hillary Clinton the one about the cankled hooker in the eye-melting pink pantsuit that got appointed Secretary of State, when he noticed what she was wearing.

Here's the joke National Security Advisor Jones was supposed to tell to the pro-Israeli think tank:

"A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, finds a Jewish merchant's store. The merchant tries to sell him a tie, outraging the militant, who goes into an anti-Semitic rant. When he's done, the merchant tells him about a restaurant that has water. The fighter leaves, returns an hour later and complains, "Your brother tells me I need a tie to get into the restaurant." The Jewish merchant sells the fighter a tie, a pinstripe suit in last year's style and two matching sportcoats at a tidy profit. Then he complains to the United States and a Predator strike kills the Taliban fighter's neighbors, wife, children and mother-in-law. The Taliban fighter survives, finds water and continues to fight for many years."

"Now that's funny!" screamed a doubled-over Abe Foxman as tears fell from his eyes and spittle dribbled from his mouth.