Derek Cheater! So help me, Jeter.

I believe that it may be time for all Major League umpires to stop worshiping their false idol, Jeter Christ. Home Plate Umpire Lance Barksdale, Jeter Christ does not love you. You and all the boys in blue can stop kissing Jeter's ass rings.

Derek Jesus Christ for MVP

There's a lot of talk about Jesus Christ, Jeter Christ, Derek Jesus, Derek Jeter for MVP. I've not got much problem with it but Sweeny Murti, the Yankee reporter for WFAN Sports Radio brought up a good point, how can Derek Jeter be the MVP if he's been the lead off hitter all year and he doesn't lead the Yankees in runs scored. Johnny Damon has the most runs scored. Let's compare.

Runs Jeter-81, Damon-85

Doubles Jeter-21, Damon-29

HRs Jeter-15, Damon-22

RBIs Jeter-54, Damon-68

Walks Jeter-48, Damon-53

BA Jeter-.331, Damon-.285

OB Jeter-.395, Damon-.365

SLG Jeter-.471, Damon-.519

Pretty damn interesting. Both are less than average fielders, with less than average arms and less than average range (despite the Yankee talk "The Fishermen of Wins" is still not a good fielding shortstop. Damon is a corner outfielder so no MVP talk even by John Sterling.

Here's a TEX message to you Yankee fans. The mouth-breathing first baseman with the scrunched up face is your best shot.

As a former catcher, I'm voting for Joe Mauer.

Even FOX Sports Hates Obama

Six hundred cameras and FOX misses President Obama's first pitch. We get to see his windup and then, nothing. Not even a replay. What the eff?

I found the video on MLB.com. It's not enough pressure throwing a baseball in front of millions of viewers, they have to line up the surviving members of the Gashouse Gang behind home plate. Imagine if President Obama had accidently nailed Red Schoen­dienst in the head. Think FOX would have been able to show that 1200 times from 600 different angles. Bill O'Reilly would have done a week on it.

My Review

Obama may have short armed the ball (New York fans get to see Jeter and Wright short arm throws several times a week), but I liked the jeans, the jacket and the jogging -- and the arm pump after. Maybe in seven years, President Obama will become a lefthanded reliever instead of building houses for the less fortunate, or making boatloads of money working for the Bin Ladens.

Jesus Christ, Jeter Christ, Derek Jeter Messes Up!

Derek Jeter messes up. His bone head move probably cost the Yankees a game and a sweep of Toronto and all anybody wants to talk about is the ump.

Because Jesus Jeter is infallible

Of course, unlike the real Jesus, Jeter did not turn the other cheek. Embarassed by his Little League mistake, he threw the umpire under the bus. That's a bad "Pinstriped Prince of Peace."

The ump blew the call. It happens. Then, finding himself in an unwanted audience with a vengeful "Fisherman of Wins," he stumbled on his words and now may be excommunicated.

I got to listen to this play described on the radio by the Yankee announcers. So, I had no clue what was happening. John Sterling thought Jeter was out by a mile (for you out of towners, the poor, old man has very bad eyesight). He couldn't be bothered to look at the monitor for the replay but assigned the task to his color commentator, Suzyn Waldman. She got distracted by Jeter arguing.

This manly display by the Yankee Son of God shortstop caused her to audibly moan as another cunt bunny was ejected onto the floor of the Lowe's broadcasting booth. BTW, you can buy an authentic game used Waldman cunt bunny here.

For anybody that knows anything about the game of baseball let me remind you that Jeter got thrown out trying to steal third with no outs. I waited for the mandatory lecture about not making the first or third out at third base. That's what announcers do. They have to. It's in their contracts. It's mandated by Major League Baseball, Inc.

Nope. It was Jeter. Not a single mention about the bad baseball play. Bad fundamental baseball. Even after the next batter singled -- which would have driven Jeter home from second easily.

Hey Yankee fans, how do you listen to this crap, game after game?