Ridiculously Big Pants Revisited

I apologize for not knowing that Prince Fielder's pants are almost as big as C.C. Sabathia's pants. Imagine my shame when I turned on the Milwaukee Brewer's game and got to see Mr. Fielder holding a runner on. Pants so loose that they literally hang from his ass cheeks showing no knees, calves or cankles. Clearly, I am old, out of touch and yearning for my old polyester skintights.

It has been brought to my attention by a close friend too cowardly to leave an actual blog comment that I am spending entirely too much time on man butt and not enough on woman butt. I pointed out to him that woman butt on baseball telecasts has always been in short supply. We get the occasional pretty face in a pink Yankee cap and we do get the "accidental" boobs bursting out of various "Official Outerwear of MLB," but butts are never seen. I kindly directed him to woman's tennis.

Now, while I am secure enough in my manliness to photoshop a man's butt, I have decided that this will be my last post about C.C.'s big pants until they become newsworthy. I envision a line drive hit back through the box where the ball gets lost in one of the bottomless folds of the "never to be mentioned again" pants. But before we go...

I have done a little experiment for the marketing guys in the Yankee front office.

I have to admit that its harder to see than I thought it would be. It's a large canvas but maybe it's the wrong logo. For you old timers, it reminded me some of Andy Messersmith of the Atlanta Braves.

C.C. Sabathia's Pants are So Big... How Big are They? C.C. Sabathia's Pants are so Big that They...

I apologize for forgetting to mention C.C. Sabathia's pants on opening day.

Now, C.C. is a big man, 6 foot 7, listed at 250 lbs. but probably closer to 350. But it wasn't his girth that was so freakish, although here's a heads up to the guys in the front office, slap a Dunkin' Donuts ad on that ass for the centerfield camera. There's no way the costly ads behind home plate will ever be seen on TV while Sabathia is pitching.

So, you're a major league pitcher with the ass of the late, great Bob Murphy. It's unfortunate. But wearing pants so big that they look like a pair of Rush Limbaugh's pajamas? That's just asking for abuse. Abuse like, "If you put a pole in those pants, you could cover the infield during rain delays."

Apparently C.C. likes his clothes like A-Rod likes his women, loose. The photo I found really doesn't do the pants justice.

Speaking of the late great Bob Murphy's ass, the average seat at Citi Field is 2" wider than Shea. The upper deck seats are the same, 19 inches. The widest seats are now 24 inches. The guy in the cubicle next to me (Steve) measured my ass, 15 inches. I definitely have an Upper Deck ass but a TV watcher's bank account. Bob Murphy's ass? Steve didn't know. Do you?

C.C. Sabathia's Big Pants Revisited

An endless list of Official Yankee Sponsors (Dunkin' Donuts is the Official Coffee of the Yankees)