Days after Tiger Woods wins the 2011 Masters Tournament he shocks the world by marrying America's Sweetheart and Disney Goldmine, Selena Gomez. Mike Greenberg of ESPN's Mike and Mike in the Morning is brought to tears by the news declaring, "Never before in the history of western civilization has a greater man risen from the depths. I will now drink of Tiger's blood and eat of Tiger's body."
Days after remarrying, Tiger Woods is caught cheating on his new bride when he accidently tweets the location and time of an illicit coupling to 430 million followers. TMZ breaks the story and the New York Post has a field day when Tiger's mistress turns out to be none other than Nadya Suleman, the notorious Octomom.
Octomom claims that Tiger Woods has been invading her spacious den at least twice a week since before his first marriage. More exciting news, she's currently pregnant and its a long par 3, Tiger triplets.
Will Selena Gomez stand by her man and save her marriage? Will Tiger Woods finally reveal that he is HIV positive? Will Octomom ever meet a nice guy on e-harmony? And finally, Mike Greenberg wants to know if all these unfortunate events will affect Tiger's chances to win the next major event on the PGA schedule, the U.S. Open held this year at the challenging Blue Course of the beautiful Congressional Country Club located in Bethesda, Maryland?
We can only hope.
