Brett and Deanna Favre untie the knot in 2011 and now we finally know why Brett has always lived in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. It is NOT the pigshit. It's the divorce laws. Mississippi still has laws on the books from back when the founding fathers were writing with feathers. You remember our founding fathers, they were right-thinking Americans like George Washington of Virginia, John Adams of Massachusetts and Jesus Christ of Texas.Turns out that in Mississippi negroes only count as 3/5 of a person and women count as even less (0.333 when voting for best pie at the county fair, just 0.128 during tax season). Poor Deanna will have to work to keep the family fed. Luckily, her Uncle Eustice is Assistant Groundskeeper at the Brettswood Country Club (duffers in the know call it smallish and not at all hard).
Can Deanna work long hours in the hot Mississippi sun and still look like a much older Jenn Sterger? Will Brett Favre get to cry on ESPN even if he is really retired? Will Brett, Deanna and Jenn all appear on Dancing With the Stars with different partners? Will Brett Favre get caught sexting all the partners? We can only hope.
Deanna Favre does not look happy. If I got paid to drive that bad boy, I'd have a smoked turkey leg in one hand, a Silver Bullet in the cup holder and a smile as big as the Mississippi delta.
Bobby,
ReplyDeleteDoes Brett Favre own the Brettswood Country Club, and did he give Deanna's uncle a job, thus enabling him to give her a job?
Because that would be irony, man.
I predict that ESPN will hire Republican Leader of the House John Boehner to provide the crying that their viewers seem to snjoy.
Bill
Bill,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment.
Things I'd like to see in 2011: Nancy Pelosi grabbing Boehner by the shoulders and saying in an outraged voice,
"Are you crying? Are you crying? There's no crying. There's NO crying in congress!"
Bob
Bobby,
ReplyDeleteBetween Palin and Boehner my party is becoming a freakshow.
Nixon is convinced that Boehner despite his name, "should be wearing a skirt" and that "that Palin bitch has a cock, you'll see Safire, you'll see."
Bill