Stories I'd Like to See in 2011 - Part 1: Sarah Palin

2010 was a great year for comedy. The Palin brood, especially the bitches, were even more fun than Mama Pitbull. Brett Favre exposes himself all over the place, first showing off his massive ego, then giving us a glimpse of his meager penis. Can 2011 possibly live up to last year?

I think so. Here are my predictions for 2011.

Dick Cheney Accidentally Shoots Sarah Palin in the Face

After watching Sarah Palin take 16 shots to down a caribou that was chained to a stake, former Vice President Dick Cheney realizes that Sarah is his kind of hunter. He invites her to hunt with him at a private club in Dutchess County, New York. You remember the place. They keep the pheasants so fat they can barely stand, they clip their wings and then they put them in cages so that the executive hunters don't have to work too hard to get their kills.

Sarah shows up straight from a Fifth Avenue manicure with her nails still wet, a grumpy Dick Cheney has a few too many glasses of scotch while waiting, and then the former Vice President shoots Sarah Palin in the face, accidentally.


Will a horribly scarred and deformed Sarah be a more desirable candidate in 2012 or will a turned-off country look elsewhere for their masterbatory fantasies? Will Sarah have her bandages removed live on TV on Bravo, Spike or Fox News? Will an emotionally distraut Todd hook up with Christine O'Donnell and Lindsay Lohan, fail to rise to the occasion, but still send the video to his good buddy Joe the Plumber who will immediately sell it to deadspin.com for $27 and a carton of Lucky Strikes? We can only hope.

BTW, that's the second biggest flag pin I've ever seen.

A Very Special Sarah Palin Alaska Christmas

Re-wrapped, re-gifted, repeat, from deep within the archives, for your Christmas comedy enjoyment, Sarah Palin and a kid kill stuff.

Special Sarah Palin Alaska Christmas Edition - Sarah Palin, determined to put the Christ back in Christmas, kills reindeer.

Sarah Palin spending quality time with a boy
that looks cold. Christians in Alaska enjoy a Christmas
that is a little bit better than us regular folks.

Sarah Palin putting the Christ back in Christmas!
Probably not really a reindeer but close enough
for this New Yorker. Can you be more funny? e-mail us

Jesse Gonder of Little Rock, AR submits this frightening
Fotoshop Funny. When you think about it,
Santa is a socialist!!! Can't Sarah see the North
Pole from her front step? Has she alerted the
Alaska Air National Guard? Sarah Palin weak on socialists?
I don't think so!

VinceDontNoNuthin29 of Jacksonville FL went with a surefire
moose mention and some down home g-droppin'.
I may know nuthin' about no huntin' but that ain't no
moose. Elk, maybe, reindeer, could be, caribou,
probably, but sure as shootin' ain't no Bullwinkle.

From jcMartin9, whereabouts unknown. Violence against
a journalist can never be tolerated, unless we're
talking an elitist, Washington insider at CNN. The only
thing Sarah Palin hates more than that Jesus-bashing Santa Claus
is the mainstream media.

Ouch! Claude E. Lockwood 's vicious punch to the gut
left me gasping for air. Only complaint, too many
words. But funny is funny!

Friday Fotoshop Funnies - Sexy Sarah Palin, Naughty Monkey Woman

NEW YORK (Vogue) Republican Vice President nominee Sarah Palin wears Naughty Monkey Red Peep Toe Pumps while making a speech but prefers a pair of pink Lady Asics for after-speech flirting.



I realize that this photo is very old but it is new to me so it qualifies for the Friday Fotoshop Funnies. Forget the stripper shoes, if that skirt was any tighter, Mrs. Palin would need a teamster to help pull down her panties (rimshot, please).

Powerful yet so helpless -- the new, feminism.
Yeah, okay even I have to admit that Sarah Palin
looks hot bent over wearing sexy shoes and Bristol's old,
high school uniform. Can you be more funny?
Leave a comment or e-mail me.

James McAndews, from our 43rd state, Idaho, sent in

a funny, scathing, racist caption. Of all the offensive n-words,
negro is the funniest.

TLeach43 got me lol-ing. I'd like to pump my toe
in and out of that naughty monkey while her red lips are
munching on my b-, oh you know. Nice shoes, nice position, nice caption.

I swear, I put a person of color and Sarah Palin in the same photo
and you guys go all George Wallace on me -- and when I say
George Wallace, I don't mean Governor George Wallace
of Alabama , segregationist, I mean George Wallace of Alabama, funny comedian. RA_Dickey@gmail.com sent in this well-crafted entry.


For all you foot fetish guys that got here from Google looking for Sarah Palin feet.

This one's for you.

Friday Fotoshop Funnies - Sarah Palin Goes Old School

ANCHORAGE (AP) - Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck were paid an oil-tanker-load of money to appear at a 9/11 Rememberance Event.

Glenn Beck likes to use a blackboard to carefully explain his hatred-filled lies. So, Sarah Palin did the same. You go girl!

Oh no! Sarah was too busy to prepare for the event
and is solving anagrams on the fly -- always a risky move. Try again, Sarah!

Yuck, that's not much better. You better get that looked at Mrs. Palin.

Yea! Sarah Palin nails it!

OK. Stop right there. I'm pulling the plug on this Friday Fotoshop Funny, LOOK AT THOSE CANKLES!!!

What's going to happen to Sarah Palin when she looks just like Hillary Clinton? The woman's appearance seems to be deteriorating rapidly. She already has a lot of weird, old lady stuff happening to her neck -- wrinkles, brown spots, dare I say, jowls. And her face is starting to look like a stomping ground for big, black crows. Will Sarah have the same broad, grassroots appeal when she's an old broad in a designer pant suit? More importantly, what is the future of the Republican Party!?!

Have no fear my right-minded friends, I know the answer...

from Joe Biden's own backyard, I give you Delaware's own
Christine O'Donnell
She's younger...

She's cuter...

She's already got all the moves down...

She's way more conservative...
And from the looks of her, she will be lots of fun at
those teabagging parties...
Sarah Palin may have to unpack the long johns and disappear into that long, cold winter's night.

Friday Fotoshop Funnies - Sarah Palin and a Baby

SACRAMENTO (Reuters) - Sarah Palin will sign a small, Asian child instead of a book if the price is right.

Just best selling author Sarah Palin and
a bunch of regular folks torturing a baby.

Sarah's hatred of Asians was well documented in an
article in the New Yorker (New Yorker, December 12, 2009)
and Sharpies have a silly name because they are not sharp. Can
you be more funny? Leave a comment or e-mail me.

Elio Chacon of Caracas, Venezuela somehow got this
through Homeland Security. I hate Glenn Beck and I hate
Sarah Palin but I do like titties.

RonTheMasochistHuntMan has a long name but
sent in a very funny caption. Unfortunately, we all know that
Sarah would quit long before she connected all those flowers!


Life is funny FelixTheCat but you aren't. Recycling my
Sharpie comment will not cut it. What is the deal with
that baby? Asleep? Dead? Ecstasy?

William Randolph of South Carolina sent in this winner.
Even the devil is scared of a Sarah Palin that is writing
something. What if he has to read it!?!

More Friday Fotoshop Funnies Fun
Bristol Palin and Levi Getting Married
Flat Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin and Henry Kissinger in Love

Can't Get Enough of this Crap? During the last election I created the site AndtheOtherisaDog.com (voted by Moveon.org as the leftist comedy site most likely to be mispelled).

Friday Fotoshop Funnies - Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston Getting Married Edition

Friday Fotoshop Funny No. 3: Sarah Palin discusses her Southern Strategy with a Teaparty lawyer. The ethics of this strategy have come into question after the NAACP declared it racist.

Yikes! Scary and sexy. If I was that guy,
I'd be sporting wood and wetting my pants at the same time.

I go topical, incestuous, short, the trifecta
of internet comedy. Can you be more funny?
Leave a comment or e-mail me.

rashburn1927 sent in this oldtimey classic.
If I could hypnotize Sarah Palin, I would tell her to act like a moose
and hope that Todd or Dick Cheney, well, you know...

Thomas Agee of Mobile, Alabama asks the eternal question,
pain or pleasure? Sarah Palin in thigh-high boots, leather corset
and a dog sled whip? Whatever gets you through the night.

NailsNYM4 threw off the chains of political correctness with
this tardy submission. Before you babies all start complaining,
let me assure you that Nails is both mentally and physically challenged
from years of steroid abuse.

Brian McRae of Bradenton, Florida makes it personal.
I like to think that Sarah Palin would get a laugh from my stuff.
Then we would hold hands, get down on our knees and pray to
Jesus for my forgiveness and redemption. After I accept Jesus
as my personal savior, we'd get busy making Christian babies while
Todd watches helplessly, his external gentitals left ruined
by years of snowmobiling.

More Friday Fotoshop Funnies Fun
Flat Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin and Henry Kissinger in Love

Can't Get Enough of this Crap?
During the last election I created the site AndtheOtherisaDog.com (voted by Moveon.org as the leftist comedy site most likely to be mispelled).

Friday Fotoshop Funnies - Flat Sarah Palin Meeting and Greeting

Friday Fotoshop Funny No. 2: Delegates to the recent Texas State Republican Convention paid $500 for the priviledge of posing with a Sarah Palin cardboard cut out. Houston Chronicle, June 2, 2010

That is one short, stumpy, Republican housefrau
or Sarah Palin is taller in cardboard. Flat Sarah!
Sounds like a good project for Social Studies.
I'll give you guys a shot at the boob jokes and the
crease jokes (Look closely, Flat Sarah folds in half
for easy storage!)

Obvious. But in the words of Rush Limbaugh,
"More obvious. More ratings." Can you be more funny?
Leave a comment or e-mail me.

Albert Bluford Walker from North Carolina sent in this winner.
Can't go wrong underestimating the intelligence of the voting
public. What did happen to Joe the Dumber? I think my
grandmother once had that dress made into a couch.

Thanks to ChuckRuffing15 for this funny contribution.
I know exactly the chick Chuck is talking about.
She's the only reason to rub one out to
that show/movie/another movie.

HarveyTheKitten from St. Louis got serious lols with the
image of Bill O'Reilly trying to make love to Flat Sarah.
Hopefully, Flat Sarah isn't as fertile as Real Sarah.

Dave Wallace from my hometown, NYC sends in the first
penis joke of the day. I know Sarah Palin gives wood to
most of middle America but when I hear her hate talk,
my balls try to crawl up into my abdomen to hide.
Different strokes for different blokes, I guess.

Can you be more funny? Send in your funny joke, I'll fire up the photoshop and if you have a site/blog/facebook/personal ad or whatever, I'll plug you good!

Update 10/28/2010 - More Reader Submitted Captions!

Mike from Whereabouts Unknown reminds
us that Sarah has unusual neighbors.

Mike again, because every Republican
grandmother wants to be just like Sarah Palin.
Now, that's good family values!

Mike submitted a nice simple third one that I felt the need to eff with.

Pound the Budweiser, interactive since 2009!

One more from me, inspired by my witty repartee
with regular contributor William Safire. If you don't check
out the comment section, you are missing out on
some of the best stuff on this blog.