More Wall Street Journal Humor - St. Patrick's Day, Leprechaums, But No Irish Jokes Please

This is a repeat from March 17, 2010. I've got deadlines people.

Another Post Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.


It's St. Patrick's Day! Every morning DJ, every local TV anchor, every a-hole at work is dusting off the Irish jokes and getting a laugh -- except the Wall Street Journal. You have to work really, really hard not to be funny with a setup involving two leprechauns and a gigantic mushroom, on St. Patrick's Day. We can never accuse the Wall Street Journal of not working hard.

Am I the only person that expects Fred and Wilma Leprehaun to walk out of that mushroom house? And do leprechauns live in mushrooms or do they just sit on them?


When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm just too stupid to understand them. But after weeks of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.

This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me.

And today's winner so far is:

As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch. Note: There are a bunch of these cartoon rips so just scroll on down.

More Wall Street Journal Humor: Classic Slob on the Couch Bit

Another Post Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper... and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.

Not funny and written for shit. Why did the guy write "we?" Are the two women talking to us, the Wall Street Journal readers? If the straight-haired woman is talking to the curly-haired woman, it should be "I'm waiting..." It's supposed to be funny because a disgusting nobody can't possibly do anything worthy of human drama. Does anybody at the Wall Street Journal watch television? Reality shows are human drama performed by disgusting nobodies.

I have to admit that it's a pretty good drawing but I would have taken the time to erase all those errant pencil marks. I believe that an artist should have some respect for his work, especially if he's getting paid. Also, he forgot to finish drawing the guys arms and those picture frames. Lazy.

When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm just too stupid to understand them. But after months of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.

This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me, we'll talk.

As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch.

More Wall Street Journal Humor - The Classic Fortune Teller Bit

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More Wall Street Journal Humor - The Death of Comedy

Another Post Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper... and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.

Death has finally updated his technology to deal with the increase in workload caused by the Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld metrics. Wait, this is the Wall Street Journal. What's the angle? No angle. No laughs. Isn't the whole beauty of a Swiss Army knife in the ability to fold away the various tools so that they are not in the way? If Death's not careful when tries to use that scissor, he's going to take his eye out with the awl.

On a positive note, this is the best drawn Pepper... and Salt I have ever seen -- except for that Estes model rocket. The guy takes all that time to render a killer corkscrew then gives us a Phillip's head screwdriver that looks like crap.

When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm just too stupid to understand them. But after weeks of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.

This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me, we'll talk.

And today's winner so far.

As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch.

Even More Wall Street Journal Humor

Unemployment is Funny
Clone Wars
St. Patrick's Day, No Irish Jokes, Please
Global Warming Wine-ing
Diversity in the Workplace
Dying Polar Bears are Funny
No Child Left Behind
Dog Day Afternoon
Health Care Reform is Funny
Heaven Can't Wait
Bitter Libations
Map Folding Fun
Wall Street Journal Humor is a Bitch

Even More Wall Street Journal Humor Update!

Reader Submitted Captions!!!

Both funnier than the original Wall Street Journal attempt.

Mike took a shot at celebrity cook/celebrity Rachael Ray.

The wife does look like she would spend her day watching the Rachael Ray Show, with her perky ponytail, her I'm-a-smart-blonde eyeglasses and her standing-on-tippy-toes high heels.

Is there a more annoying small breasted woman in show business than Rachael Ray? Why say EVOO a hundred times a show, if you are going to explain that it stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil every frickin' time? Do you just assume we've got to be brain dead because we are watching your show? I almost made her Blue Cheese Spaghetti with Dried Cranberries until I realized that it would actually look better going out than going in (taste better, too!).

Regular contributer Bill Safire made fun of the ridiculous pose of the husband and the demise of print journalism. The husband looks like one of those life sized muppets that takes five guys to work and never, ever, looked good.

Join the fun and I'll plug you good. PoundtheBudweiser, interactive since 2009!

More Wall Street Journal Humor - Let's Make Fun of the Unemployed

Another Post Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.

Ha, ha, ha, everybody is losing their jobs because the economy is tanking. There's something especially evil about the Wall Street Journal making fun of people losing their jobs, not particularly funny but evil, given that Wall Street greed and the capitalism that they worship is directly responsible. If it was funny, I'd give them a pass, but it's not. And once again, the cartoon is drawn for shite. The curving perspective of the walkway is nice but that rug and just about everything else sucks worse than Karl Rove with a mouth full of broken glass (copyright pending).

When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm just too stupid to understand them. But after weeks of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.

This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me, we'll talk.

And today's winner so far:
I'm sorry, but there are a lot of ways to draw two people waving good-bye, and that's not one of them. Those are definitely Nazi salutes. No accident. The editors, Mr. Murdoch, and Mr. Rove all secretly sport wood when they look at this crap.

As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch.

Even More Wall Street Journal Humor
Clone Wars

St. Patrick's Day, No Irish Jokes, Please
Global Warming Wine-ing
Diversity in the Workplace
Dying Polar Bears are Funny
No Child Left Behind
Dog Day Afternoon
Health Care Reform is Funny
Heaven Can't Wait
Bitter Libations
Map Folding Fun
Wall Street Journal Humor is a Bitch

More Wall Street Journal Humor - Weird Twin Clone War Edition

Another Post Courtesy of the Wall Street Journal - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here are cartoons from today and last week.



Sure, these cartoons are pathetically unfunny, but what's most striking about them is how much these unrelated people look alike. Are these cartoonists such lousy artists that they can only draw one kind of person? Do you think that a. bacall spent so many years trying to figure out how to draw curly hair that he forgot how to draw straight hair? I almost feel bad for the guy. All he can draw is an afro and the Wall Street Journal will not buy a cartoon with a black guy in it. He should thank Jehovah for the Jew-Fro.

DaveGrpenter might have it worse. The only kind of human he can draw is a balding, big-nosed schlump with no chin. And he can only do one kind of clothes, white pants (with strange wrinkles), white shirt, striped tie with tiny gay shoes. It's a good thing he can draw two kinds of chairs.

When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm too stupid to understand them. But after weeks of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.

This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me.

First up, twin therapy:




And the winner so far:


Now, the clone interview:




And the winner so far:





Even, Even More Wall Street Journal Humor

St. Patrick's Day, No Irish Jokes, Please
Global Warming Wine-ing
Diversity in the Workplace
Dying Polar Bears are Funny
No Child Left Behind
Dog Day Afternoon
Health Care Reform is Funny
Heaven Can't Wait
Bitter Libations
Map Folding Fun
Wall Street Journal Humor is a Bitch


Quick Note and Two Quick Drawings

Nobody pays me to draw (sadly, nobody pays me to write, either) but I figured I'd give these cartoons a try and see if I could render two people that do not look like twins.

Literally, seven minutes. Enough time to give the one guy a goatee and a sweater, recreate Edvard Munch's Scream, and draw a pretty good Snoopy.



I got a little faster the second time and I spent a whole minute needlessly drawing Rupert Murdoch.

How much does the Wall Street Journal pay these guys for this crap work? Whatever it is, it is way too much.

UPDATE 5/25/10 - Reader Submitted Captions!


All funnier than the original Wall Street Journal attempt.


Anonymous submitted two. First, short and sweet. Although, the implication that the son is twiddling his lightsaber to his mom makes me queasy. Second, classic observational humor...


If Anonymous had left a name/username/link, she would have been able to proudly show this to her grandkids and I would have plugged her good.





William Safire, or Bill to his friends, took a cheap shot at Eliot Spitzer, always a good, comedic strategy.