The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.
Stop the presses!!! The Wall Street Journal has finally admitted that global warming exists. Has Dick Cheney noticed a lessening in quality of the fine French champagne he swills by the bucketload? I know nothing about wine. My wine of choice right now? Prosecco, because it's as close as you can get to a soda that will give you a buzz -- not counting rum and Coke. The OpEd page of the Journal is full of articles about the climate change hoax but when they are going for a laugh, those suits are willing to push it straight to the edge.
When you first read these cartoons you think, oh no, they're just like the cartoons in the New Yorker, I'm just too stupid to understand them. But after weeks of analysis, I've come to the conclusion that we're smart enough, they just suck, and they almost never have anything to do with business, or the right wing agenda of the Wall Street Journal.
This is the part of the post where I attempt to write funnier captions. Don't forget, this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me.
And today's winner so far is:
As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch. Note: There are a bunch of these cartoon rips so just scroll on down.
The last 2 are my favorite because I'm just as sick as you
ReplyDelete;)
Candice!
ReplyDeleteThat rugged cowboy hubby and you have like an open marriage, right? Cuz I want you bad!
I like 2 and 4.
ReplyDeleteWannabeVirginiaW!
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty long. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to scream that out at the appropriate time.
Thanks for the comment!
Bob
Bobby,
ReplyDeleteThis place is turning into a Fidel-Castro-Eating-A-Roast-Beef-Sandwich Fest.
Your winner is longer than Obama's Health Care Reform legislation. It might be funny but who the hell is gonna read it?
howabout?
"The Italian women that stomped the grapes were pre-menstrual and waxed."
Bill
Bill,
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the He-Man Woman Hater's Club nature of this blog, I'm more Alfalfa to your Spanky.
and for the record,
Spanky and Alfalfa: not bromos
I watched this show on Discovery or PBS where all the wine in France and Italy is now stomped on by hairy-legged Turkish immigrants with penises.
Making your line moot.
But thanks for the comment!
Bob
Bobby,
ReplyDeletePlease tell me you made up that BS about Turks and grapes. The Big Red Guy always makes sure that there is a nice French table red and white at lunch and dinner.
Howabout?
"It's pre-unionized fruit pickers."
Because of all that trouble with the Mexicans back in the day.
Hey what's a Rupert's Jizz? (you owe me one)
Bill
Bill,
ReplyDelete"Fidel-Castro-Eating-A-Roast-Beef-Sandwich Fest." That totally went over my head!
Bob,
I am wondering the same thing what is Rupert's Jizz? Did I stumbled into a Xaviera Hollander article? I always wanted her lipstick. I digress.
You both may call me, Virgin.
Virgin.
P.S.
With a name Spanky and Alfalfa, how can they not be bromos?
P.S.S.
We could totally take this on the road
Bill, Bob and the Virgin <---potential.
Wanna,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was stationed at Fremantle during the Big One (Elec. Mate 3rd Class), everyone's favorite drink was a Rupert's Jizz
Classic Rupert's Jizz
Jigger-boo Gin
Splash of Grand Wizard Marnier
Dash of Vegemite
Shake with ice.
Finish in a highball with Foster's (that's Australian for beer, mate)
Garnish with a 1/2 a torn $100 bill.
Thanks for the straight lines.
Miss Wanna,
ReplyDeleteI assume you have heard the term Sausage Fest - a party or function with an overabundance of men.
A Fidel-Castro-Eating-A-Roast-Beef-Sandwich Fest - is a party or blog that has been overrun by women. Because your external genitalia often look like Fidel Castro eating a roast beef sandwich.
Bill, Bobby and Virgin on the road? We'd have to change the name after the first night.
Bill
Bob,
ReplyDeleteSadly, I don't do hard liquor. Rupert sounds good though.
Bill,
No. Bill. I have not heard of the term sausage fest. Fine! I am lying. Yes I have.
I do have to chuckle with the visual of an external genitalia looking like Fidel. Is that all you have seen? SADs.
Born again Virgin <---- name change here.
WannaBvirgin,
ReplyDeleteAll you "virginal" viragos are the same. Promising a wood floor during the negotiations then, after the money changes hands, revealing a bewildering bramble of bemiring briars.
There is nothing less appealing than a born again virgin with the possible exception of an actual born again.
Bobby,
I wouldn't drink Rupert's Jizz with Bill Macy's mouth. And for the record, we have a Gacy down here but not Mr. Macy.
Bill
Clearly, Bob, you sir are not as much of a wine connoisseur as the good folks at the Wall St. Journal. Anyone from that reputable newspaper can tell you the merits of a fine bottle of '63 Chateau Beychevelle and how it tastes like a kiss from Audrey Hepburn. Just ask your buddy, Bill Safire.
ReplyDeleteBill,
ReplyDeleteWould you be nicer to me if I told you, I read you article: "The Right Word in the Right Place at the Right Time: Wit and Wisdom from the Popular Language"? But I am lying if I said I did. So I won't. haha.
Bob,
Are you snoozing?
Ricky? What the... who the... Hey Ricky. Oh I feel a song coming on. Bring the wine.
Lucy (I kid)
Born again Virgin
wanna,
ReplyDeleteyou have to be nice to Bill and cut him some slack, like we all do with those really old folks that use the express lane even though they have 27 cans of cat food, 5 boxes of Depends, and a dozen other items that contain fiber and no flavor and they go shopping during my lunch hour even though they could go anytime of the day except after 6 because they are asleep and they have to pay with exact change only their fingers shake so much they can't get the pennies out of their adorable little change purses and then when you think they're done they complain about how the bags were packed so their 47 items have to be redistributed but how are you going to make a bag light when they're buying a 2 liter bottle of prune juice and then you really think they're done but then they have to check the receipt and they can't see so good and their hands tremble so it take forfuckingever.
Bottom line, Mr. Safire is old and dead so he's allowed to be bitchy sometimes.
Bob
Bob, Okay I roar on that comment. I know Bill is dead. I knew that when I first laid eyes on him. Being that he is dead, I like him already.
ReplyDeleteBorn again Virgin.
Hilarious cross-over, you did a great job with this elitist comic! Thank you.
ReplyDelete