Friday, May 8, 2009

How to Eat Pussy, Alyssa Milano's Nipples and her Mom

This post is about everyone's favorite Met and/or Dodger fan. There's Alyssa Milano showing off her good points at good old Shea Stadium.



Alyssa is famous for that show with Tony Danza, that show Charmed (which I never watched because I used to be a boy) and having her naked breasts plastered all over the internet back in the wild west days of the web.

So back when I wrote my infamous bit How to Eat Pussy I used a photo of Alyssa to illustrate some forgotten, but surely funny, aspect of cunnilingus. Here's the photo with two annoying Mets logos and the back of my head* obscurring her amazing talents.



Weeks went by and the bit became extremely popular. If you typed "How to Eat Pussy" into google, my site was at the top of the list. That converts to thousands of visits a day. When I die, my wife has promised to put the following on my gravestone:


So I have that going for me, which is nice.

Then I got an e-mail from Alyssa Milano's mom. She was very upset and feeling quite litigious. How dare I post a photo of her daughter on the internet that showed off her vacant stare and pre-performance enhanced breasts (not to mention her puffy nipples -- no, her mom did not mention her puffy nipples). Turns out Alyssa Milano's mom runs a company that scours the internet looking for celebrity photos that are being used without permission or compensation. Alyssa's mom was not so much outraged by my use of her daughter's breasts but that I hadn't paid her for the priviledge. Pimp-le! I was screwed.

I wrote back that I was sorry and replaced the Alyssa photo with this:


It's funnier and Meryl Streep's mom hasn't bothered me at all.

*That is not really my head. It's some guy at a backyard barbecue. His mom hasn't e-mailed me either.

5 comments:

  1. I love puffy nipples, they remind me of gobstoppers that you can roll around on your tongue.

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  2. Get back to work, Steve! WHo am I kidding. Grab that NASCAR magazine you keep on your desk, go to the men's room and rub one out to that photo of Carl Edwards

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  3. oh WHAT a photos of her, are rally hot, love her

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  4. Can I simply communicate what a elimination to find celebrity who actually is familiar with what theyre speaking concerning on the web. You completely recognize the way to carry an matter to light and construct it significant. Extra people need to read this plus perceive this facet of the narrative. I cant imagine youre not more fashionable since you positively have the gift.

    ReplyDelete