Thursday, July 10, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 7/10/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Lindsay Lohan hung over ugly bloated no hot
Lindsay Lohan flaunts her cleavage and legs in a plunging floral-print playsuit as she steps out in New York
My Comment:  In the fashion industry, we call that look heroin un-chic.

Holy eggplant, that's a spicy meatball
Father, son and the holy vegetable: Cook finds an eggplant
My Comment:  Upside down that eggplant clearly spells COD.  Maybe it dreamed of being served on a plate with a nice piece of fish.

The fun of the fair! Kim Kardashian enjoys rides and churros at the Jersey Shore
My Comment:  Putting penis-shaped objects in her mouth on camera is Kim Kardashian's career.

That's not the first time Kim has gotten all hot and bothered by a churro and a corn dog.   Remember the Ray J video?

Kim Kardashian Ray J video oral funny

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Jennifer Lawrence side boob oops
Making a boob of herself! Jennifer Lawrence reveals an eyeful as she goes braless at Dior show.  The Hunger Games star flashed some serious sideboob..... before facepalming Emma Watson! 
My Comment:  "The Hunger Games star flashed some serious sideboob."   I'm a big fan of sideboob but serious sideboob is my least favorite. Give me flirtatious sideboob, supple sideboob, playful sideboob, lots of sideboob but serious sideboob?  I never figured Jennifer Lawrence would have a serious side.  Rating ▲3

Kardashian beauty contest Kourtney hot
Sexy sisters in the city! Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian show off enviable legs in form-fitting outfits on a New York stroll
My Comment:  Kourtney is the only one with good legs and she's preggers.  Rating ▲3

Jessica Simpson wedding photos hot
'It was magical': Jessica Simpson raves about her wedding day as she shares first glimpse of her Carolina Herrera gown
My Comment:   While her husband kisses her, Jessica is focused solely on the camera -- perfectly capturing the shallowness of her personality.  Rating ▲10


Starting this week, I'm introducing a new feature to my weekly Daily Mail bit.

The Daily Mail Pokies of the Week!

Feeling perky?  See if you can guess the owner of these delightful celebrity nipples.

Selena Gomez pokies nips oops hot

The first correct caller will receive a rare How to Eat Pussy t-shirt*.  I'll give you a hint.  Those "magical" pokies do not belong to Emma Watson.  I'll give you another hint.  I biebelieve that the astounding display of cleavage and perkiness is achieved without a bra but justin case I'm wrong, oh baby, that's an impressive... Screw it , that's enough hints.

Selena Gomez nipples pokies nips cleavage hot

Did you guess America's sweetheart, Selena Gomez!?!  Wow!  Selena is a hot, sweaty mess of deliciousness.

Justin (Bieber) case you missed the pokies in the first photo, the considerate editors at The Daily Mail include three more.

Selena Gomez nipples pokies nips cleavage hot

* Readers of the blog PoundTheBudweiser and members of their family are not eligible for this contest.

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