Thursday, August 18, 2011

CGI My Wife, Please

Peter Jackson has Golem. James Cameron has his beloved Avatars. And now, Judd Apatow has his wife, Leslie Mann.

judd apatow wife funny cgi nude boobs tits

I just found out that Judd Apatow is filming a bunch of nude scenes with his wife -- only her naughty bits are all going to be CGI.

Makes for a funny Judd Apatow scene.

Judd Apatow looks over the shoulder of the CGI guy.

"Can you make them a little bigger... bigger... bigger... good.

Now the nipples, erect, more erect, more, now put those little bumps on them, more, more, more. What the heck? Let's put a pair of puffies on those bad girls.

Wow, sorry. You got a roll of paper towels?"

judd apatow wife funny cgi nude boobs tits

Wait, we can be funnier.

Judd Apatow looks over the CGI guy's shoulder.

"What have you got for me, Bobby?

Hmmm, can you deflate them both about 40%? No, give them some sag, make 'em really deflated. Good. Now, make the right nipple bigger and the left one shouldn't be so round. It looks more like a gorilla's nose,with dimples and kind of wrinkled. Give it a few coarse, black hairs. Excellent.

How about some freckles and a rash in the cleavage. Nice. Make the rash redder, redder, redder. Okay, almost there. Can we do sweat? Good. Put some sweat glistening underneath."


"Now, does this thing have a nag button?"

Monday, August 8, 2011

Rise of the Beneath of the Planet of the Apes Part Two

Caesar from Planet of the ApesCaesar from Rise of the Planet of the Apes!!! You know, if I was a scientist like James Franco, and I was the stepfather of a super-intelligent ape, I would name him Gandhi.

It wouldn't make for much of a movie.

Frieda Pinto: "Hey Jim, what's Gandhi doing today?"
Me: "Oh, he's downtown sitting in the square not eating, again."
Frieda Pinto: "Great. If you're not busy this afternoon how about we have lots of great sex."
Me: "Okay."

Gandhi ChimpActually, my movie is sounding better and better.

Photoshop Notes (Just in case Hilary wants to use my ape photo) - Those are Gandhi's actual glasses stolen from wikipedia and cleaned up a little. And that's a baby bonobo. In the original Planet of the Apes, the gorillas were the army guys, the orangutangs were the Weasleys, the chimps were the scientists, and the bonobos were the hedge fund managers. For a free UncleMelon t-shirt, what were the gibbons?