Thursday, September 20, 2012

That's the 2nd Most Exciting E-mail I've Ever Seen

I got an e-mail from that guy.
The real Mr. Skin
It said, and I quote "Wanted to know if you had some time this week or next to discuss working together." Mr. Skin wanted to work with me! Finally, my singular talent was being recognized. I would spend the rest of my life getting paid for doing something I truly love, looking for glimpses of naked chicks.

Strangely, the e-mail was not from, it was from I fired off a reply stating that I would only discuss my future career with the actual Mr. Skin. Bob Johnson's e-mail came back surprisingly quick. In Mr. Skin's world, "working together" meant hosting some banner ads on one of my sites, -- a site that the bean counters at Mr. Skin identified as having "Lots of Hot Celeb content and highly targeted traffic."

I held back the tears. Crushed, I informed Mr. Johnson that got about 50 visitors a day. At the current click-through pay rate, I estimated that I could expect a $5 check from Mr. Skin in about 300 years.

Lots of Hot Celeb content and highly targeted traffic and mystery boobies

The first naked boobies I ever saw on TV was on local Channel 9 in NYC. It was an accident. Someone forgot to cut the nude scenes out of an old movie shown late at night. It was the greatest 5 seconds of my life. My friend Rick spent the next five years scanning the TV Guide every week for the movie and amazingly, the nude scene kept popping up until inevitably, years later, the censors got busy censoring.

For an extremely rare, How to Eat Pussy t-shirt* name the movie and the owner of the aforementioned boobies.

* Readers of the blog PoundTheBudweiser and members of their family are not eligible for this contest.


  1. Hey Bob!
    I don't know the actress, but that house...Weekend at Bernies 2? Hope all is well and happy new year to you.

  2. Mike!

    You've got the right barrier island system. That's a beach on Fire Island in NY. Since you are the only person that reads this blog I might as well give the answer -- it's Emmy and Golden Globe winner and all around hottie Barbara Hershey!!! Tah da!

    The rare Uncle Melon How to Eat Pussy t-shirt will be returned to it's hermetically sealed envelope and put back in the box in my mom's attic.

    Thanks for the comment!