Jerry Falwell got so upset he almost popped a boner.
Sesame Street has been around 40 years! You didn't know? What are you as dead as Jerry Falwell? I haven't seen this much media coverage of a pop culture anniversary since Playboy turned 50.
Now, I can appreciate the Children's Television Workshop's significant efforts to
- teach the abc's;
- bring Palestinian and Israeli children together with only foam rubber and fake fur;
- and make the inner city a little less frightening to white people everywhere...
but enough already. If you all don't stop I'm gonna have to get off my lazy ass, wake up my lazy brother and do a bit.
Which leads me to a shameless plug of my Playboy 50th anniversary bit. This bit was so good it actually caused UncleMelon.com to crash for two days.
We got farked and received 70,000 hits in three hours. By noon, the log files on the cheap server that hosted UncleMelon.com were full and the site went down. The always unresponsive but incredibly inexpensive web host took their sweet time and the rest is history.
My site had been farked maybe a dozen times before, resulting in huge increases in traffic -- but nothing like that day that has become known at wikipedia as Pink Tuesday. The difference? The boobies tag.
A Fark boobies tag = outrageous, server crushing traffic.
The bit was a decade by decade review of select centerfolds that stands up pretty well. It's sort of Basic Humor 101 making jokes about cultural changes in hair styles, clothing styles, boob styles, and pubic hair styles.
Everything is still good fun until you get to May 1992, Anna Nicole Smith, ouch. Uncomfortable, yeah a bit, so just skip over it if you're a pussy.
The usual warnings apply, the bit is not suitable for children, pregnant women or discerning readers.
Wait just a second, some of you expected a dissertation on the significance of 40 years of Sesame Street versus Playboy's 50 years. Wouldn't you rather go and admire some mighty fine boobage? It's seriously sweet stuff, just try not to think about what those boobs are doing today. You know, pointing straight to the epicenter of the planet, accidently dusting off the radiator in the bathroom, and scaring the cat.
You still rather read an analysis? Here's one graciously provided by my guest blogger and brother, Dave Melonosky.
Firstly, they both:
- led to excessive masturbation
- made many of us question our sexual mores
- showed alternative lifestyles in a positive light
- featured fantasy characters that do not exist in the real world
- went from furrier to less furrier over the years
Now for Playboy's advantages:
- allowed masturbation in greater privacy
- was glossier and had funnier jokes
- more tits, less boobs
- more pussy, fewer cats and dogs
- let us count all the way to 13, if you count playmate of the year
Now, Sesame Street:
- had Kermit,the first openly gay television host
- had a mixed-species, same gender couple in Snuffy and Big Bird
- less white, way more colors
- provided masturbatory simuli but we were often caught by our moms playing on the living room rug
Editor's Suggestion for CTW: In the future, more Maria, less clothes, way less Elmo.