This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 12/12/13

Another Post Courtesy of the Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the Daily Mail Online. Now there's another reason to visit the Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Kim Kardashian and the riddle of her nose: How it has morphed over the years
My Comment: When's Kayne's nose gonna start changing?

Kim hasn't had surgery on her nose?  I call BS.

I thought Kayne was going to be a good influence on Kim.  He seemed smart and grounded, but it seems he's getting more like her everyday.  His talent is shrinking as his celebrity grows. Lately he's as dumb as a Kardashian.

Here's a rare photo of Kayne West and Kim Kardashian from New Year's Eve 2018.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.   This week I sucked.  Next week I may go for the green.

NELSON MANDELA 1918 - 2013: Former leader will lie in state for three days in a glass-fronted coffin during ten-day mourning period as South Africa prepares for the biggest funeral of the century
My Comment:  What, no headlines about Paul Walker? Your American readership went down 50%.  Rating ▼2

I did not know who Paul Walker was before he died.  Movies about fast cars driven by arrogant-looking douchebags aren't my thing.  Mandela I've heard of.  The next time a rightwing douchebag tells you how great Reagan was just say two words, "Apartheid and AIDs."

'Leah Remini is a repulsive bigot and my enemy': Kirstie Alley slams her ex-friend while on Howard Stern
My Comment:  Repulsive is as repulsive does (and looks) or The enemy of Kirstie Alley is my friend. Rating ▲160

Amanda Bynes leaves rehab and is discharged into the custody of her parents
My Comment:  Great news for you guys. How much are you offering photographers for juicy photos? Rating ▲19

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.  Now that's a call back.

'You're all over the place!': Anchorman star Steve Carell hijacks weather girl's slot on Daybreak
My Comment:  Ron Burgundy, News Presenter. I'm sick of the endless Anchorman plugs. This movie must really suck if they're expending this much effort for that 1st weekend.  Rating ▼15

So, I'm not much of a Ron Burgundy fan and the rest of the world is. I'll tell you what I am a fan of, Laura Tobin's butt. Look at it. Drink it in.  That butt is standing at attention and saluting. Forget hitting it with a car antenna, I want to put the Compleate Oxford Dictionary on it, build a fire and admire it from the sofa, while sipping a brandy.

Or maybe put a nice potted plant on it, a ficus or a fern, and make all my co-workers salivate with envy.

Who is this Laura Tobin and how can I watch her butt forecast the weather every damn day?