Dr. Hasbro and the First Barbie, 1991 -- The evil Dr. Hasbro kidnaps the first Barbie model from ace toy designer Matt Mattel and uses her to compensate for the inadequate size of his penis when he takes photos for his Facebook page.
Elaine! Benjamin Braddock Zombie Hunter, 2000 -- Recent college grad Benjamin spends his days lounging in his parent's pool and his nights fighting zombies. When he shows up uninvited at his true love's wedding, he's a mess. Is it from running all the way from Beverly Hills to Santa Barbara or has the hunter become... a zombie?
Van Der Graaf Zap-ellin, 1990 -- Back when steam was what heated my fourth floor walk-up and punk was the guy Clint Eastwood had a problem with, I wrote this proto-cool story while high on three tablespoons of nutmeg and half a bottle of Aqua-Velva Blue. Tennis cutie Steffi travels the country in her tricked out van with Scott Baio and me and the always horny Ellen Barkin