Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Willard "Mitt" Romney: King of the Rats

Mitt is not Mitt Romney's real name. His real first name is Willard. Willard Mitt Romney.

Willard Mitt Romney, Willard Mitt Romney's real name, funny Mitt Romney, Willard Mitt Romney king of the rats

Everyone knows that Willard is the guy that sleeps with rats. And talks to rats. And caresses rats gently as he plots his revenge on all those that are not incredibly rich, or Wall Street Scumbags Rats, or have teased him about his hair and his love of rats.

Why did Mr. and Mrs. George W. Romney name their youngest son Willard?

Wikipedia would have you believe that Willard "Mitt" Romney was named after hotel magnate J. Willard Marriot, one of his father's closest and poorest friends.  But we know who controls Wikipedia, don't we? No, not the Jews. Please, try to concentrate. That's right, the Scientologists...  or the Mormons. Same difference, they both hate women, worship in strange and unusual ways and secretly blow washed up movie stars while they sleep.

Willard Mitt Romney is the King of the Rats. The rats do his bidding. When he speaks to the rats, the rats obey. We have no evidence concerning actual rodents but rats with two legs? Rock solid sources. Just ask all the regular folks fired when the Rat King was running Bain Capital.  

The investigative journalists at PtB may not be very well paid, and they may not be very good and they may not be journalists but they are thorough and think about toupées a lot.

Have you ever seen Willard "Mitt" Romney without his toupée?  Neither have we.  So, in an effort to keep our investigations complete, we had one of our interns fire up the photoshop and defrock Mr. Romney -- with frightening results.

Mitt Romney toupee, Mitt Romney real hair, Mitt Romney bald

Great Scott!  The plot thickens.

Mitt Flip Flop Romney, funny Romney

Put yourself in poor Mitt Romney's sh... Ouch, that's not just an oxymoron that's an oxy-unfuckingbelievable! Okay, put yourself in young Mitt Romney's shoes. Yes, I know that you, me, and the State of Mississippi can't afford his shoes but it's called empathy. Try it. You Republicans can sit this one out. I don't want you to hurt yourselves.

Mitt or Willard. Flip or flop. Pretentiously ridiculous or smothered with bubonic plague. Poor, little rich boy.

*Yes, I noticed that Mitt Romney only lets the white rat sit on his shoulder. Let's not jump to conclusions.

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