Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Glory Days -- Books I Writed Part 8

More books from the box in my mom's attic.

Beach Blanket Berlin! written by Bob Melonosky
Beach Blanket Berlin!, 2001 -- Eric Von Zipper, the leader of the Malibu Rat Pack Biker Gang, joins the American Nazi Party, kidnaps all the guys and brings them to Berlin for a PR stunt that causes quite a führer.

Congressionally Blonde written by Bob Melonosky
Congressional Blonde, 1994 -- Elle Woods wants her chihuahua, Bruiser, to reunite with his mother, because she would like Bruiser's mom to attend Elle and Emmett's wedding. Elle hires a detective to find Bruiser's mother, only to discover that the company that has her dog's mother is a cosmetics company that uses Bruiser's mother for cosmetic testing. She finds out that her law firm represents the C'est Magnifique Corporation. Elle decides to leave Boston, where she and Bruiser have settled with her fiancé Emmett, and go to Wahington, DC to work on Bruiser's Bill. Elle is upset that her dog's mother is in a make-up testing laboratory, and decides to take it upon herself to be the "voice for those who can't speak" and to outlaw animal testing. While working for Congresswoman Victoria Rudd, Elle is met with skepticism and other barriers common to Washington politics. Rudd's member of staff, Timothy, sarcastically calls her "Capitol Barbie." After a variety of ups and downs including a failed attempt to improve her work environment by having her co-workers write compliments about one another and place them in the "snap cup", Elle starts to lose her faith in Washington politics. As the story moves along, Elle discovers that Bruiser is actually a homosexual, after she is paged by "The Paws that Refreshes: A Doggy Day Spa." Bruiser has been affectionate with Leslie, a Rottweiller owned by Congressman Stan Marks, the Chairman of some committee which has jurisdiction over Bruiser's Bill. Elle also finds that Congresswoman Libby Hauser, the Ranking Member of the same committee, was a member of Delta Nu. As a result, both Marks and Hauser warm to Elle and eventually come to support Bruiser's Bill. Elle also discovers that Congresswoman Rudd has actually been working against her. So Elle becomes a lobbyist and sleeps with a bunch of fat, bald, smelly congressmen. The End.

It Gave Her Head in More Ways Than ONe written by Bob Melonosky, funny LOTR, funny Golem having sex, funny Lord of the Rings, LOTR funny

It Gave Her Head In More Ways Than One, 1990 -- Golem shacks up with a hot, redheaded witch and forgets all about that stupid ring.

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