Wednesday, November 13, 2013

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments 11/13/13

Another Post Courtesy of the Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.


When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the Daily Mail Online. Now there's another reason to visit the Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

horse wedding funny
Couple choose HORSE as bridesmaid (but she wasn't allowed in the church)
My comment:  I've heard of horse-faced women but this is ridiculous.  Oh wait, is that one a real horse?

British women dress up as 9 11 twin towers funny
9/11 families' fury after two British students WIN fancy dress competition wearing TWIN TOWERS outfits
My comment:  The North Tower is hot!!! (No pun intended.)

Okay, calm down people. Granted she has questionable judgement but she is attractive.  Would it help to imagine me consensually banging her in costume, if I was dressed as a New York City fireman?   Because lately, that is my "go to" fantasy.

funny hamster belfie
Cute photos of hamsters baring their backsides go viral as the animal kingdom hops on the belfie bandwagon
My comment: Oh great, now Kim will take a belfie of a hamster butt coming out of her butt.

Will belfie be Oxford Dictionary's Word of the Year 2013?  Damn, in the time it took for me to type that sentence Kim Kardashian has posted another belfie.

new kim kardashian selfie butt funny belfie

I knew she visited my blog.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.


Paula Deen husband affair
Paula Deen's husband 'walks out after she confronts him about alleged year-long affair with 'sexy' brunette'
My comment:  Who's he having an affair with? Mrs. Claus?   Rating ▲389


Striking images look like any other collection of photographs... but they are in fact pencil drawings
My comment:  A camera would be quicker, and probably better, and in color.  What's the point?  Rating ▼39

cute bodybuilder
Amputee Jonas Zimick wins first prize in fancy dress modelling contest as one-legged pirate
My comment:  On leg day, he only has to do half the reps. Not really fair.  Rating ▼32

Because he's obviously a bodybuilder. Funny and red. It's a win/win.


funny
Just 50,000 people have signed up for Obamacare insurance on Healthcare.gov
My comment:  First, you rightwing nutjobs hated ObamaCare, now you can't sign up fast enough.  Make up your minds!  Rating ▼28

Finally, after years of trying, I get an ObamaCare comment through. Big whoops. Calling Kourtney the ugliest Kardashian gets more of a reponse. 

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