Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Celebrate National Diversity Day 2014!

A re-post from last year.  Since Diversity Day 2013, a white guy in Budget got a DUI and got promoted.  A black woman that worked for him got a DUI and got fired by HR.  Party on, Garth!  Diversity rocks! 

funny celebrate National Diversity Day 2014

About a month ago an e-mail arrived with that image and a bunch of HR crap. The key to that image is the colorless faces. Our clothes may be diverse (not really) but our faces are not. We is white.

Not only are we white, but management believes that the only thing women are good for is making copies and buying cards when someone is sick, dead or retiring.  And if somebody at the local office is gay? That gay guy is so deep in the closet, he's living in Narnia. 

Previously, we have successfully celebrated National Uniformity Day and National Homogeneity Day. Everyone still talks about the party we had back in 2011 for National Invariability Day.

Diversity, however, was a scary , new frontier.

The e-mail provided helpful and hopeful verbiage.

"This event will be held with much fanfare at headquarters and various local offices." HR codespeak for "this will happen whether you like it or not." I quickly tried to schedule a doctor's appointment.

"Here at ***** we are not strangers to potluck feasts and on this day we encourage an international twist to the foods and desserts that you bring." Hell yeah, we potluck with the best of them, maybe it won't be so bad. I cancelled that appointment.

"In addition, you may want to consider wearing traditional clothes or bring a photo of ancestors or an artifact you can talk about over lunch."  Will the boss wear his grandfather's beloved Gestapo uniform? The National Diversity Day Potluck was becoming a don't miss event.

 Here's a photo from the party.

funny celebrate National Diversity Day 2013

Only kidding. That's just a photo of an ancestor that Stan from Purchasing brought in to share.

Here's a real photo of the HR Diversity Committee in their native garb.

funny celebrate National Diversity Day 2014

When the signup sheet was posted in the break room I wanted to volunteer to bring white bread -- but 27 guys beat me to it. So, I brought in a case of bottled water.

funny celebrate National Diversity Day 2014 potluck feast

I can't wait for National Diversity Day 2015.  Here's hoping that the experience will encourage management to think outside the box and hire someone that likes whole wheat.

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