Friday, October 17, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 10/17/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

khloe Kardashian fat ass funny
Khloe Kardashian shows off her shapely derriere in tight leggings as she hits the gym for yet another gruelling workout
My Comment:  Shapely derriere?  Shapely like a Volkswagen bus?  Shapely like a barge full of refuse?  Shapely like a massive, amorphous blob visible from space?  Seriously DM, buy a dictionary.

From Webster's New World Dictionary:
shape · ly (shap-le) adj.  having a pleasing or graceful shape or form.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Trinny Woodall oops camel toe
Creature of habit: Trinny Woodall slips on a stylish navy and cream ensemble as she heads out to favourite Mayfair eatery with Charles Saatchi
My Comment:  Wow, Charles has traded in the comfortable Minivan for a sportier model!  Good for him.  She looks like a wild ride.  Rating ▲2


Who can blame Charles for leaving the Ford Transit back home in the garage? After a couple of years, you have to really press on the choke to get that bag of bolts operating properly.

Bristol Palin mugshot mug shot
Young mother who punched in policewoman's teeth as she tried to arrest her for urinating in the street gloated about attack on Facebook posting pictures of victim's blood
My Comment:  Great idea for FOX TV, this chick and Bristol Palin fight to the death. Guaranteed ratings!!! Call my agent, Rupert, and we'll talk.  Rating ▲7

Bristol Palin new reality tv show funny

If you think Bristol Palin doesn't stand a chance, here's a sneak preview from the "talent" competition.

Britol Palin swallowing a red bull can

That's America's Sweetheart Bristol Palin swallowing a can of Red Bull.   For the finale, those two crazy kids make that can disappear into places not even a pair of Levis would dare to enter.

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