Friday, October 24, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 10/24/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

King Tut Prince Charles separated at birth funny
The REAL face of King Tut: Pharaoh had girlish hips, a club foot and buck teeth according to 'virtual autopsy' that also revealed his parents were brother and sister
My Comment:   King Tut looks like Prince Charles in a nappy.  Maybe they're related.

Seriously, I'll give you that Prince Charles has better hair, but the buck teeth and girlish hips?  They could be twins.

Stephen A. Smith Jesus hates gays
They're besties already! Kourtney and Kim Kardashian's adorable daughters Penelope and North hold hands during family outing
My Comment:  Cousins hold hands!!!  News at eleven!!!

Don't worry Stephen A. Smith, they're probably not lesbians so Jesus still loves them, for now.

Victoria Beckham smiles
Business must be good! Victoria Beckham can't keep a huge smile off her face as she chats to customers at London store
My Comment:  I did the research, the last time Victoria Beckham smiled was June 15, 1967.    She looks pretty when she smiles, almost lifelike.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Kim Kardashian fat ass funny
What was she thinking? Kim Kardashian dons a bizarre ensemble of knee-length cutoff jorts, open-back top and heels on date with Kanye West
My Comment:  Thinking? Kim Kardashian stopped trying to think in the 3rd grade.  Rating ▲1

Kim Kardashian fat ass funny 2

Kayne, always the silly prankster, takes advantage of Kim's loss of sensitivity due to her massive implants.  Funny guy.

Kayne prank Kim Kardashian fat ass funny

Ouch, sometimes funny becomes mean.  Poor Kim.

And because I know you want it, and because I care, and because I already went to the trouble of erasing the background, here's a Kim Kardashian Snow White Halloween cutout.  Guaranteed to scare the neighborhood kiddies.

Kim Kardashian snow white Halloween 2014 funny

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