Wednesday, November 5, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 11/5/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Buzz Aldrin rightwing nutjob
‘I am skeptical humans are causing global warming’: Buzz Aldrin says more research - and less politics - is needed
My Comment:  Buzz Aldrin is a fool. From the NASA website, 97% of Climate Scientists agree that the climate-warming trends over the past century are very likely due to human activities.

Buzz used to work for NASA.  Maybe now he works for Big Oil like the 3% of Climate Scientists that disagree.

Here's the NASA link.

Kim Kardashian pokies camel toe funny
Well, they do call it Silicon Valley! Kim Kardashian turns tech guru as she speaks at conference... but it's her curves that wow in tight white dress
My Comment:  If I press down on Kim's right button will I get a drop down of her panties allowing random access for my hard drive?

Computer euphemisms, more obvious than Kim's nipples. 

Linda Evangelista no make-up ugly funny fat
Linda Evangelista, 49, goes make-up free as she takes in the view from the balcony
My Comment:  That "Honey Boo Boo" show is looking for a new mom.  Linda should try out.

Kim Kardashian breast implant obvious
'My style has become sexier since becoming a mum': Kim Kardashian says revealing clothes make her feel good
My Comment:  In that first photo, the seam in her left implant looks like its about to break through the skin. Yuck!

Kylie Jenner lip botox injections puffy lips funny
'How long are we gonna talk about this lip thing?' Kylie Jenner hits back after critics slam her photos
My Comment:  Smother those lobes with onions and pass the salt.  Kylie's lips look like a hunk of pink, juicy liver. 

It's funny because it's true.  Look again, carefully,  one of those botoxed lips is actually calf liver.  Really. Here's the Google Image Search.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Kim Kardashian nipples you'll poke you're eye out
Waist training was worth it! Kim Kardashian shows off her toned midriff in tight white dress at family get together
My Comment:  Kim's nipples have been out of control lately. It looks like they are trying to escape for a more normal life where they won't constantly be on parade.  Rating ▲5

Tamara Ecclestone looks like Barbie doll bikini tats funny
A real life Barbie doll! Bikini-clad Tamara Ecclestone displays an INCREDIBLY toned physique as she models for poolside shoot in Ibiza
My Comment:  Barbi doesn't have cheap looking tattoos -- unless you draw them on with a Sharpie.  Rating ▲24

See, now they look like twins, except for the cellulite.

Belle is a trap

Just for the record, after extensive research on Buzz Aldrin I made a sad discovery, Belle is a trap and she's hung like a fire hose. Years of fapping for naught.

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