Tuesday, January 20, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 1/16/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

Mark Wahlberg Dirk Diggler

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Khloe Kardashian big camel toe cameltoe
'Camille the camel is trying to say hi!' Khloe Kardashian makes fun of her VERY tight white jeans
My Comment:   If she wants more customers she should spend less time advertising the gaping vacancy of her "nether region," and more time fixing the place up so we'd want to visit.

When you're the ugliest Kardashian, sometimes you have to go to great lengths to get attention.  If Khloe was actually able to teach her vagina to talk, even if it just said "hi!" and her mom videotaped her vagina in action, maybe performing with Gary Busey,  Khloe would be a bigger star than her brother Rob.

Miley Cyrus naked nude uncensored
Patrick Schwarzenegger’s girlfriend Miley Cyrus goes full-frontal for most shocking shoot yet
My Comments:  Miley has more ugly tattoos than an Algerian midfielder.

She also has the skinny, ill-defined arms of an Algerian midfielder.

Miley doesn't seem to have a grand plan for her body as a canvas.  It looks like she gets really high, somebody says lets get more ink and Miley says. "Sure, but not too big."

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler impersonate Bill Crosby at Golden Globes
My Comment:  Who the heck is Bill Crosby?  Is he one of those valets/footmen/butlers on Downton Abbey?  "Blimey, the Countess has more wrinkles than an ascot ironed by Thomas."

Bruce Jenner woman transgender
Bruce Jenner shows the strain as he puffs on a cigarette after 'mean' magazine adds lipstick to cover photo and claims he would come out as 'transwoman' in 2015 
 My Comment:  On next week's cover, Kris Jenner will reveal that she has a kock in 2015.

See, I was right.

Kris Jenner transgender camel toe

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Mark Wahlberg racist felon
Former prosecutor says Mark Wahlberg should not be pardoned because he hasn't acknowledged his 'racist' past 
My Comment:   It's all about $$$. He wants to get a liquor license for his loser brother's restaurant. Hey Mark, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.  Rating ▲29

Mark Wahlberg underwear funny camel toe

Rightwing nutjobbers don't like Mark Wahlberg, a convicted racist that shoots people in every movie even when he's playing an accountant?   Isn't Mark the new Clint?  I still can't figure you bastards out.

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