This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 5/20/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.


Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Man, 33, pleads guilty after 'killing his stepfather with an atomic wedgie
My Comment:  This is truly a public service announcement.  I will never again perform an atomic wedgie.  However, conventional wedgies will still be in my arsenal.

'You're The Wig That I Want!': John Travolta sports layered mullet
My Comment:  When the Scientologist aliens finally arrive on earth, they're going to take the wig and leave the cannoli.

Khloe Kardashian hits the gym early so she can have breakfast catch up with sister
My Comment:   "Hits the gym" must be Armenian for "free buffet."


Accepted Comments
 
Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

'Thanks for the lift!': Kourtney Kardashian shares snap where partner Scott Disick is pushing up her breast as she sunbathes

My Comment:  

I'd lift those up where they belong

 Where eagles fly

On a mountain high

Rating ▼2

Pregnant Katherine Jenkins dresses her burgeoning baby bump in a midnight blue number ensemble
My Comment:   When you can't see the bump, it can't be burgeoning. Need an alliteration? Katherine dresses her itsy-bitsy baby bump...  Rating ▲155

Kim embraces her 'insecurities' with a nude photo shoot in the desert
My Comment:  Kim looks like I-40, a four lane highway through the Mojave Desert. You can park two 18-wheelers on that butt with room to spare.  Rating ▼1


The Daily Mail Mission Statement:

Extra Special Gift: 

 Because I care, and because hundreds of pussy-faced pudpullers (that's "pus - e faced" - having a face full of pus not a face full of pussy.  Believe me, no readers of this site have ever had their face anywhere near an actual pussy), will visit this site after typing some combination of:

Kourtney

Kardashian

Breast

Naked

Nude

Pregnant.

Here's Kourtney Kardashian naked, and pregnant, with nude breasts, and an eagle, actual size: