Thursday, July 16, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 7/16/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Kim Kardashian Rolling Stone funny semen
Ahoy there sailor! Kim Kardashian sports captain's hat as she puts ample cleavage on display
My Comment:   Sailor Kim?  Could be, she is a woman that would be very comfortable with a boatload of seamen.

Any Schumer topless naked bed Star Wars funny C3PO R2D2
Amy Schumer goes completely topless as she climbs into bed with Star Wars robots for hilarious new GQ shoot
My Comment:  This photo is stupid.  Everyone knows C3PO and R2D2 are gay.

I'm pretty sure they got married last summer in New Jersey.

Kim Khloe Kourtney Kardashian fat as whales funny
Kourtney, Kim and Khloe wear super tight white outfits as younger sisters come to the rescue
My Comment:  Fetch me my harpoon, Ishmael.  There's a pod of Kardashians off the starboard bow.

North ruins pregnant Kim's $4500 Lanvin coat with her buttery popcorn following trip to the movies with Kanye
My Comment:  Grease?  No way.  Obviously, it's a splooge stain.  Pregnant Kim was probably making a new video in the men's room of the movie theater.  It's all about content, people.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Michelle Keegan displays her taut abs in crop top and scalloped skirt as she watches Mark Wright install private gym in marital home
My Comment:  I could watch her watch her husband all day.  Rating ▼41

I'm not complaining but why the negativity?

Donald Trump hates Mexicans funny
Donald Trump calls 'El Chapo' escape proof of Mexico's 'corruption' 
My Comment:  Donald Trump is proof that you don't have to be intelligent to be rich. Especially when your dad gives you all the money.  Rating ▼52

Chantelle Houghton hot package
Chantelle Houghton shows off her weight loss as she coordinates her all-white look to her daughter Dolly
My Comment:  That's quite a package. I'd like to unwrap it in the privacy of my hotel room without the kid. The bow is really nice.  Rating ▼5

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