Thursday, October 22, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 10/22/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Playboy ad funny
Playboy will stop publishing photos of nude women - 62 years after Marilyn Monroe stripped off for the first issue
My Comment:  Now my dad will have to masturbate to the vodka ads. 

Khloe Lamar funny
Khloe Kardashian 'splits' from boyfriend James Harden as she vows to stay by Lamar Odom's bedside...
My Comment: 

Khloe:  I'm sorry James but this is not about love, it's about ratings.

James:  Whatever.  You ugly. 

Kim Kardashian halloween constume
It's back to business for the Kardashians as Kim, Kylie, Kendall, Kourtney and Kris head to high-profile events
My Comment:  Kim looks like she is dressed up as a black olive for Halloween.  She looks uncomfortable, unattractive, and underwhelming.

Kim Kardashian halloween costume funny

If the whole pornstar/rapper ashtray thing doesn't work out, Kim should take dancing lessons and tryout for a gig with the California Olive Growers Association.

As Kanye has found out, extra virgin might cost a little more but its well worth it.

Khloe Kardashian without makeup crying Lamar
'It has been incredibly difficult': Khloe breaks her silence as it's revealed Lamar has made his first steps at LA hospital but may need a kidney transplant after drug binge
My Comment:  Imagine you're an organ donor and your kidney ends up in Lamar passing urine on to Khloe.  Yuck.

Kim Kardashian golden shower Ray J

Lamar showering Khloe with his new kidney.  That's Kim Kardashian in the upper right corner waiting for her turn.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

first Khloe Lamar hospital photo
Kim, Kris, Kourtney and Kylie pictured leaving behind Khloe as they fly off on private jet after visiting Lamar -  who offers a glimmer of hope by squeezing Kim's hand

My Comment:  If Khloe was a good wife, Lamar Odom would still be alive.  Rating ▲2

Using my considerable photoshop skills I think I have solved the Lamar Odom snorting a pile of cocaine, viagra and heroin mystery.  Remember that this photo of Lamar passed out in the brothel was taken even before the police were called.

If you look carefully at the doorway behind the bed you can see a woman with a fat ass.  Both of the hookers that Lamar paid to bang were skinny white chicks with no asses whatsoever -- which would worry me if I was Khloe.  If her brain damaged ex-ex-husband really loves her, why does he prefer a hooker with no ass?

But I digress, if you look even more carefully at that fat ass it is obvious from the implants and the bleached blonde hair that it is, none other than, Khloe Kardashian!

Here's a section of the photo enhanced using a photoshop filter called skankenhancer.

Khloe Kardashian fat ass brothel funny

Why would Khloe Kardashian be at a brothel in the Nevada desert?  She may have been picking up some pocket money by blowing the cleaning crew or...

She may have poisoned Lamar Odom thereby insuring more camera time on the family TV show.  Kim is pregnant, Kourtney is hot, Kylie's hormones are raging out of control, when you're the ugliest Kardashian you might resort to malfeasance to get noticed.  Nobody wants to see James Harden sitting on a couch with a pampered pooch and I'm not talking about a Pomeranian.

I think Lamar got himself a koma not a coma.

I have forwarded my findings to the FBI and NYPD SVU.   

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