The Joba Chamberlain Report - 5/29/09

Never has so much been made of so little -- even in Yankee land. If Yankee fans hear John Sterling, Michael Kay, and Brian Cashman say it often enough, they will believe anything. You know, things like Joba Chamberlain is having a good year or he's going to be a "special" starter.

Joba Chamberalin is not having a good year. He's having a terrible year. His WHIP is 1.57, that means he's in 107th out of 124 starters. His innings per start is 5.03, good for 112 out of 124.

Special? He's not even mediocre. He's down near the bottom in every meaningful statistic. Don't stick his ERA in my face, he gets taken out of games before he ever gets pounded. Joba has never taken even a third of an inning for the team.

You say, "But Suzyn Waldman says he has great stuff!" Daniel Cabrera has great stuff, so does Ollie Perez. Good stuff does not equal good pitching.

Joba Chamberlain was a special reliever over a short period of time. So far, as a starter, Joba Chamberlain sucks.

Our Baseball God is an Ironic God: Joba the Slut Pitches on Mother's Day

Yesterday, amid the pink bats, and the pink wrist bands, and the pink spikes, and the pink shin guards, and the pink lapel pins and the pink jock straps, stood Joba the Nut. Of the five Yankee starters that could have pitched on Mother's Day, we got to watch Joba Chamberlain. Joba was raised by his dad because his mother was a crack whore. The same mother that was arrested last week trying to sell meth to an undercover cop.

I was smiling at the irony and I'm sure God was too.

Hopefully, Joba will get to pitch on Father's Day in a packed stadium filled with blue balls -- and blue bats, and blue wrist bands, and blue lapel pins.

Joba the Nut

Yo, Joba! Seth Rogen called, he wants his glasses back!