Jesus Christ, Jeter Christ, Derek Jeter Messes Up!

Derek Jeter messes up. His bone head move probably cost the Yankees a game and a sweep of Toronto and all anybody wants to talk about is the ump.

Because Jesus Jeter is infallible

Of course, unlike the real Jesus, Jeter did not turn the other cheek. Embarassed by his Little League mistake, he threw the umpire under the bus. That's a bad "Pinstriped Prince of Peace."

The ump blew the call. It happens. Then, finding himself in an unwanted audience with a vengeful "Fisherman of Wins," he stumbled on his words and now may be excommunicated.

I got to listen to this play described on the radio by the Yankee announcers. So, I had no clue what was happening. John Sterling thought Jeter was out by a mile (for you out of towners, the poor, old man has very bad eyesight). He couldn't be bothered to look at the monitor for the replay but assigned the task to his color commentator, Suzyn Waldman. She got distracted by Jeter arguing.

This manly display by the Yankee Son of God shortstop caused her to audibly moan as another cunt bunny was ejected onto the floor of the Lowe's broadcasting booth. BTW, you can buy an authentic game used Waldman cunt bunny here.

For anybody that knows anything about the game of baseball let me remind you that Jeter got thrown out trying to steal third with no outs. I waited for the mandatory lecture about not making the first or third out at third base. That's what announcers do. They have to. It's in their contracts. It's mandated by Major League Baseball, Inc.

Nope. It was Jeter. Not a single mention about the bad baseball play. Bad fundamental baseball. Even after the next batter singled -- which would have driven Jeter home from second easily.

Hey Yankee fans, how do you listen to this crap, game after game?

Our Lovable Ragtag Bunch of Scrappy Blue Collar Guys

In my last post, I affectionately called the latest version of the Mets a "motley bunch of scrappy bush leaguers." Baseball salaries are effing unfathomable so I attempted to put a price tag on the players the Mets fielded last night. Data are from Cots' Baseball Contracts, basically it's salary plus prorated bonus. I assigned Santos, Switzer and F. Martinez the league minimum (I know Martinez got a big bonus when he was 16 but I don't know the length of his contract.).

Starting Lineup
$2,000,000 Cora
$401,000 Murphy
$7,750,000 Wright

$1,700,000 Tatis
$2,800,000 Church

$400,000 Santos

$925,000 Reed
$6,250,000 Castillo

$2,250,000 Redding

Subs:
$409,500 Stokes
$400,000 Switzer

$400,000 F. Martinez

$9,166,667 F. Rodriguez

The Mets starting nine have a combined salary of $24,476,000. Add the subs (including don't call me K-Rod) and the total is $34,852,167.

So they can't compare to the Yankees 80 million dollar infield, but that ain't chicken scratch. Those 13 guys make about what the Florida Marlins entire roster will make in 2009.

Bad Fundamental Baseball

Missing third base is a mistake. A brain lock. A misstep. It is not bad fundamental baseball.

Leftfielder Angel Pagan getting in the way of centerfielder Carlos Beltran is horrendous fundamental baseball. Golden boy Daniel Murphy breaking from first base before the pitcher starts his windup is horrendous fundamental baseball. Luis Castillo continually bunting at the wrong time is horrendous fundamental baseball. Golden boy Daniel Murphy putting his glove in front of his face so that he can't see the ball is horrendous fundamental baseball. Check that, bad example, that is just a GodFuckingAwfulDisplay of non-athleticism.

Ron Darling's analysis was priceless, "Murphy put his glove in front of his face so he couldn't see the ball." The crack SNY crew stopped the action so we could see the ball, the glove but not Murphy's face. "See that Gary? Murphy's glove is right in front of his face. He couldn't see the ball during the last two feet of its flight."

It got better, "All you Little Leaguers out there. You should try to put your glove either above or below your face so you can see the ball. It makes it much easier to catch."

Sometimes it looks like the Golden Boy has never played baseball before. How can such a spaz actually hit a baseball? I thought it was the toughest thing in sports.

But missing third is not bad fundamental baseball. Stop calling up radio stations, youfucktards.

Photo swiped from Big Glove and Ball Swiping Guy