Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Next Blog>> Tuesday

At 12:30 PM on Tuesday, July 20, 2010, I clicked on the Next Blog>> button and got these two blogs. BloggerGoogle claims that these blogs are similar to mine. Let's see how they did.

Blog Number 1: allen. stefanie. & paislee.

First blog up is a nice, young family that doesn't like initial caps or commas but loves Jesus! and periods.

You guessed it. Blonde, smiling, Mormons. I've been to Utah and most Mormons do not look like the Osmonds, they look like these guys. This blog consists of 800 billion photos of their cute, little daughter and their blonde, Mormon friends and family.

Blog Highlights

Please fo not feed the Mormons. I would so do every one of these Mormons and so would you.

After my eyes adjusted to the retina piercing colors, I smiled. That baby better start smiling or they'll ship her to Wyoming. Just kidding, just kidding. I kind of assumed that Mormons would not celebrate Halloween because of Satan and stuff, so, this blog is fun and educational.

Dad after a few too many Grape Fantas.

Mom giving us the obligatory tongue.

I'm giving this blog ***** out of*****. If you want a family blog with a cute baby and a lot of smiles, this is the blog for you. After reading this blog, I kind of wish I was born a Mormon, married this cute, blonde woman and made a baby. Not really, but I have decided to smile more often.

Why is this Blog like Mine?

I'm a half-Jew, atheist from New York City that writes a blog full of raunchy, political humor. The only thing I can think of is that I do take the Lord's name in vain a lot. Does anybody see any similarities?

Blog Number 2: Danice is a scrapbooker!

Great title. I've been singing it to The Ramones' Sheena ia a Punk Rocker for the past 5 minutes. I really like the exclamation mark. You can tell that Danice is a scrapbooker and damn proud of it!

This blog is about Danice's art and her life in New Zealand. It is full of cool, close-up photos of scrapbooking paraphernalia. It is well-written and sincere.

Blog Highlights

On her birthday, her friend made her this cake. Yes, made her this cake. Scrapbookers are multi-talented and seem to be incredibly useful.

And they are hot! Would I do a scrapbooker? Yes, three times!

Kangaroos lounging in the shade. Apparently if you live in New Zealand you can take like a subway to Australia which is better than going to the Bronx.

I'm giving this blog ***** out of *****. This is by far the best scrapbooking blog I've ever visited. I would now like to go to Danice's house, eat cake, fondle her and her friends, and scrapbook -- and that's pretty high praise for a blog.

Why is this Blog like Mine?

I'm the anti-scrapbooker. I let stuff pile up for months then I throw it out without sorting it, or glueing it or covering it with sparkles and bows. I would never be able to organize a book of stuff or even sit still and concentrate for more than 5 minutes. I already stopped humming The Ramones and started singing Fat Bottom Girls by Queen because there was a Brian May look-alike on the site and it totally fascinates me that the lead guitarist of Queen went back to school and got his doctorate in astronomy.

I may have used the words "scrap" and "book" over the past year. I live in New York and Danice lives in New Zealand. I breathe a combination of gases consisting of 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen with traces of other stuff and so does she.


The Next Blog>> button sucks.


  1. Bobby,

    At the New York Times we had a simple rule, if you come to the table with nothing, keep your mouth shut.

    In other words, just because you have a blog, doesn't mean you have to blog. Especially if you have nothing to write about.

    There is one obvious similarity that courses through all three of these blogs.

    Lameness. They are all exceedingly lame.

    The nice, Mormon family blog? Lame. A nice family but why would anybody other than grandma (and yes we all know you would do grandma) read this blog. These people are not exceptional in any way. Their lives are mundane, they are unattractive, their kid has the charisma of pot roast.

    Scrapbooking by definition is lame. A single, 30-something scrapbooker? We're talking pretzel man lame.

    And you my friend are perhaps the lamest of all. Too lazy to get another paying gig, you write these dense, unorganized, little pieces of crap that are riddled with typos, grammatical errors and lapses in logic. These nuggets of nastiness float in a pool of insincerity and snarkiness.

    I commend the webmonkeys at google for their highly effective algorithm.


  2. Bill,

    You are wrong my friend in so many ways. This is a good bit that I will beat to death every Tuesday until I tire of it.

    Momma Mormon is pretty darn attractive. I'd slather that mustard on my hotdog any day. I've never schtupped a woman with bigger upper arms than me but its not from lack of want.

    Since were talking lame howabout another golf story. I'd rather scrap a book than golf.


    1. Ditto! Love this blog! Wholesome, and a joy to behold!

  3. Hey, there appear to be dead animal carcasses in your random blog stumbling as well. Thanks again for the concept. Rickey's gonna meme the shit out of this one.

  4. Rickey,

    Thanks for the comment! You took my concept and kicked its ass.