A Very Special Sarah Palin Alaska Christmas

Re-wrapped, re-gifted, repeat, from deep within the archives, for your Christmas comedy enjoyment, Sarah Palin and a kid kill stuff.

Special Sarah Palin Alaska Christmas Edition - Sarah Palin, determined to put the Christ back in Christmas, kills reindeer.

Sarah Palin spending quality time with a boy
that looks cold. Christians in Alaska enjoy a Christmas
that is a little bit better than us regular folks.

Sarah Palin putting the Christ back in Christmas!
Probably not really a reindeer but close enough
for this New Yorker. Can you be more funny? e-mail us

Jesse Gonder of Little Rock, AR submits this frightening
Fotoshop Funny. When you think about it,
Santa is a socialist!!! Can't Sarah see the North
Pole from her front step? Has she alerted the
Alaska Air National Guard? Sarah Palin weak on socialists?
I don't think so!

VinceDontNoNuthin29 of Jacksonville FL went with a surefire
moose mention and some down home g-droppin'.
I may know nuthin' about no huntin' but that ain't no
moose. Elk, maybe, reindeer, could be, caribou,
probably, but sure as shootin' ain't no Bullwinkle.

From jcMartin9, whereabouts unknown. Violence against
a journalist can never be tolerated, unless we're
talking an elitist, Washington insider at CNN. The only
thing Sarah Palin hates more than that Jesus-bashing Santa Claus
is the mainstream media.

Ouch! Claude E. Lockwood 's vicious punch to the gut
left me gasping for air. Only complaint, too many
words. But funny is funny!

A Charlie Brown Christmas or Linus is a Teabagger

I saw this old ad on dougsploitation blog and I got to thinking. Wasn't the whole point of the Charlie Brown Christmas special that Christmas had gotten too crassly commerical? Look at Snoopy's doghouse! Can't get crasser than that; Coca Cola and Kellogg's, the Breakfast of Champions. Schulz sold out so fast that they couldn't even wait to find a Kelloggs logo that fit the drawing.

I'm one of the few people that didn't like this TV show. It was way too religious for me. Linus sent a cold shiver down my spine. What kind of kid memorizes the entire second chapter of the Gospel of Luke then recites it at a party?

I'll tell you what kind. A right-wing religious nutjob kind of kid. Don't be fooled by his mellow, thumbsucking ways. Sure he used to lisp quietly and carry a big blanket, but those kind of kids sometimes turn into the ugliest kind of adults.

Teabaggers!

And not the good, horny, gay kind of teabagger, the bad hate-filled, Jesus-loving, racist kind of teabagger.

Now visit dougsploitation. It is a very cool site.

Even More ESPN Humor - Instant Karma's Gonna Get You

ESPN.com has a regular cartoon strip called "Girls & Sports" that is never funny. You think the title of the strip sucks? Wait until you get to the punchlines.

Here's today's cartoon:

lol? Didn't think so.

Here's the part where I try to be funnier. Remember, we have established earlier in the week that this guy is a poorly drawn Ben Roethlisberger.

Okay, here we go:

Nah, I'm only kidding. Making fun of ugly chicks can never be a bad thing. Here's the real cartoon:

Thank you , New Jersey! And good night!

More ESPN Humor: Girls and Sports - No Ugly Chicks Allowed

ESPN.com has a regular cartoon strip called "Girls & Sports" that is never funny. You think the title of the strip sucks? Wait until you get to the punchlines.

Here's today's cartoon:

Awful girl? Is that how guys at ESPN talk?

I haven't been reading this stuff for long so I have no idea who the hell Marshall and Harris are. Maybe they're richer than Bill Gates or nicer than Mother Theresa, but, if they are just loser, douchebag posers that sit home every night watching Sportscenter, then they should be thanking their Personal Savior Jesus Christ like Kurt Warner after a win.

Look at the rack on Jessie! That dwarf Harris could get lost in them thar hills.

Here's the part where I try to be funnier:

Wait just one minute, Bob! That's you. You're always in italics and dark blue.

Wait just one minute, Bob! Give and go is a sports reference. Therefore, the strip qualifies as Girls & Sports.

Did you fail to notice that I cleverly replaced "a lot in common" with "both Packer fans?"

Girl?

Check.

Sports?

Check.

Funny?

Check.

ESPN Humor: Girls & Sports - Dating Do's and Don't's

ESPN.com has a regular cartoon strip called "Girls & Sports" that is never funny. Even the title of the strip sucks. I've got a meeting with the suits up in Bristol next week where I'm going to pitch a comic called "Girls, Sports, Beer & Video Games."

Here's today's cartoon:

Wow, that is so bad that even Derek Anderson wouldn't laugh at it. (Yeah, I'm kissing some serious ESPN ass but forgive me, I really need a paying gig.) You draw a beefy guy wearing Big Ben's number 7, and the guy has a death grip on the wrist of a hot little chick, and that's all you got?

Here's my shot at being funnier:

I could, go, all, the, way!!!

With little cartoon Joann and with this bit. Expect more, it's way too easy. And if you are from ESPN, instead of threatening to sue me, let's talk about ways to put funny into your humor.