Thursday, January 6, 2011

Stories I'd Like to See in 2011 - Part 3: Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods Marries Selena Gomez

Cute Selena Gomez at a celebrity golf tournament where she met her husband, Tiger Woods.
Days after Tiger Woods wins the 2011 Masters Tournament he shocks the world by marrying America's Sweetheart and Disney Goldmine, Selena Gomez. Mike Greenberg of ESPN's Mike and Mike in the Morning is brought to tears by the news declaring, "Never before in the history of western civilization has a greater man risen from the depths. I will now drink of Tiger's blood and eat of Tiger's body."

tiger woods remarries, selena gomez secret wedding, funny selena gomez, funny tiger woods Days after remarrying, Tiger Woods is caught cheating on his new bride when he accidently tweets the location and time of an illicit coupling to 430 million followers. TMZ breaks the story and the New York Post has a field day when Tiger's mistress turns out to be none other than Nadya Suleman, the notorious Octomom.

funny tiger woods photo, tiger cheats on new bride selena gomez
Octomom claims that Tiger Woods has been invading her spacious den at least twice a week since before his first marriage. More exciting news, she's currently pregnant and its a long par 3, Tiger triplets.

Will Selena Gomez stand by her man and save her marriage? Will Tiger Woods finally reveal that he is HIV positive? Will Octomom ever meet a nice guy on e-harmony? And finally, Mike Greenberg wants to know if all these unfortunate events will affect Tiger's chances to win the next major event on the PGA schedule, the U.S. Open held this year at the challenging Blue Course of the beautiful Congressional Country Club located in Bethesda, Maryland?

We can only hope.


  1. Bobby,

    Two golf posts in a row?

    Reminds me of a story. Over Christmas, I'm playing with my usual foursome, Nixon, Haldeman and Falwell. It's the 12th hole on the Black Course at Sulfur Springs and Nixon is eyeballing a long 9-iron -- when a ball bounces right in front of him.

    "Nobody plays through when President Dick Nixon is on a fairway!" he yelled and cursed so loud that guys up in heaven started complaining.

    A minute later this old guy waddles up to the ball, pulls out an iron and lands a beautiful shot 18 inches from the hole. He never says a word and heads off to the green. It's Ty Cobb!

    Nixon starts screaming even louder, "Cobb you miserable SOB, Judge Landis should of banned your ass from baseball forever, you cheating, dirty, redneck, pile of peach shit!"

    The old guy turns around, waddles right up to Nixon and starts hitting him with his 9-iron. The first swing closed Nixon's right eye. The second swing put Nixon down in the turf. The next 12 swings broke ribs, both knee caps and Nixon's tibia!

    Then Cobb, without a word spoken, waddles back to the green, hits the gimme putt and heads off to 13.

    Haldeman and I just stood there laughing til we cried. Jerry Falwell was gone, scared so bad I still haven't seen him.

    Bob and I got to play through as a pair but we never caught up to Ty Cobb.


  2. Whoa, Bill. Are you off your meds, again?

    That may have been the longest comment in the history of blogging. I dozed off half way through. Does it have a happy ending?

    Thanks for the comment!


  3. Bobby,

    I am deeply hurt. I thought you rather enjoyed my golfing stories.

    I am done with you, Sir.


  4. Hahahah very funny stuff, what an impact created Tiger with all of his affairs.

  5. nice post dear blogger