Thursday, April 11, 2013

I Invent a New Game at Work - Day 2

funny work game

I invented a great new game at work called  Destroy the Pink Thing in the Urinal that Smells Like your Aunt Amy.

"Why is the game so much fun," asked Zack the guy in the cubicle next to me. Simple question with a very complicated answer. First, the pink thing in the urinal is a major part of the game and that pink thing in the urinal is the only colorful thing I see all day long. Work is full of grey and beige and gray and that's just the people.

This is the color of the walls of my cubicle, kind of a grayish beige.

The color of the bulletin board that is built into the cubicle? Beigy gray. The push pin is off-white. I'm sure they pay more to get entire boxes of push pins devoid of color.

The furniture is all gray and full of useless files.

The walls are painted grayish beige. The spackle is an off-white, some would call it beige. The light switches are beige and so is the thermostat, although it is a reddish, brown sort of beige that I'm sure was a huge risk for the designer.

The carpet is gray with hints of steel blue and old coffee.

I thought it would be nice to find out the real name of the pink thing in the urinal since I have, and will, be typing it out a lot. says that they are called urinal deodorizer blocks, urinal cakes and urinal mints.   Someone asked if you can eat the pink things in urinals. They do look like they might be minty or bubblegummy, tasty, I mean if they weren't generally sitting in pools of urine. says that they "are not eatable, nor fit for human consumption."

This is the first time in my entire life I have read the word eatable. I still haven't heard it said out loud. Next time you see me try to slip it into the conversation. I'd appreciate it. Why use edible when you could use eatable?

Back to the game. Only Day 2 and things are begining to get exciting. A puddle is forming on the target. The suspense and action builds over time in this game but there are tangible results after just a short period of play. Another reason why it's so cool.

urinating on funny michael steinberg

It's hard to see the puddle in the photo so try to imagine  the face of my boss set at 65% transparency sitting on the urinal cake. While its fun to imagine my boss in the urinal, it doesn't seem to be helping find the puddle. Do you think if I stuck a candle in a urinal cake and gave it to my boss on his birthday he might eat it? He's well-groomed but is stupid.

Try to imagine the face of my boss set at 30% transparency and offset slightly so that the puddle of urine is right on his lying lips. That's better. Those shiny highlights are not my boss' lip gloss, they're the reflection of the camera's flash on the puddle of piss.

Can you see the puddle now? Doesn't seem like much but things are going to heat up quickly. I promise.

More about the game tomorrow. Yesterday's post.

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