It's Day 4 and we're entering the last frame, the final stretch, crunch time. The game has been a nail-biter but believe me, it only gets better. After two visits that included the processing of my morning coffee and a bottle of Diet Pepsi, the pink thing in the urinal looks like this.
I know, yesterday a teeny, tiny breakthrough.
Today, a vast gaping chasm reminiscent of Kim K's kanyon. Thank you thesaurus.com and thank you Kim Kardashian. Just when you thought it was safe to pee into the little puddle all hell breaks loose (Obviously there's another Kim Kardashian reference there but I'm not going for it).
I've been trying to be careful but I had an awkward moment today in the men's bathroom at work. Some guy caught me taking a picture of the urinal. I have to use the flash because they like to keep it kind of dark in there I guess so it's more romantic.
The guy gave me a "What's up?" as he hesitated to pull down his zipper.
I'm pretty quick on my feet so I ran like hell. Nah, I'm kidding, I just came up with a lighting response, "Just taking a picture of my dick for instagram."
He chuckled and asked if I would take a picture of his dick for his facebook page. Then we took a picture of our dicks together, exchanged @ signs and promised to tag each other.
The game, bringing dicks together since April 2013.
Back to the game. So, did I win? It's a game. There is a winner and a loser. I'm not just competing against the pink thing in the urinal, I'm also competing against all the guys that pee into that other urinal.
The other urinal cake looks all smooth and pink and glistening, untouched by male bodily fluids of any kind, like it was just removed from it's packaging, virginal, if you will allow me to wax poetic.
Winner and still champion, me.
Later in the afternoon the pink thing in the urinal looked like this.
Where there was only one drainage hole, now there are five. This is when the goal of the game changes drastically. The leaker stops trying to increase the gap and starts trying to break the pink thing up into as many small pieces as possible before the guy that cleans the men's room changes out the pink thing.
Speaking of the guy that cleans the men's room, it appears he made a rare midday appearance and twisted the urinal cake approximately 30 degrees counter clockwise. When this happens I like to imagine my boss' face set at 65% transparency.
It's fun because you can imagine that your boss is spinning in the urinal, perhaps because you tried to flush him down.
More about the new game I invented at work tomorrow!
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