This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 1/10/14

Another Post Courtesy of the Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the Daily Mail Online. Now there's another reason to visit the Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Cowell about that! Simon and his heavily pregnant girlfriend Lauren Silverman look cozy onboard yacht
Comment:  That baby will not go hungry!  Nice nipplage times 4.

There's an interesting aside to this story.  It disappeared.  It was there two days ago. I commented on it and I copied the photo.  Now, it's gone.  Do you think billionaire Simon Cowell called up his buddy, billionaire Rupert Murdoch, and asked him to remove it?  Simon and his heavily pregnant girlfriend Lauren Silverman do look like two milk cows.

You can never underestimate the journalistic integrity of a Rupert Murdoch venture.

Khloe Kardashian shows off her svelte figure after a gruelling three hour workout.
Comment:  Does svelte mean fat in England?

Weight loss warrior Jessica Simpson shows off her slim pins in leather trousers.
Comment:  lol, she's using a whole dead wolf to hide her beer belly!  I seriously can't remember why we care about this bird.

Do the writers at The Daily Mail actually look at the photos before they copy and paste the text sent to them by the celebrity's publicist?

I just got an email from Jessica Simpson's publicist.  We care about her because this Weight Loss Warrior is a "singer turned fashion designer." lol again.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Eliot Spitzer spotted 'sucking toes' of girlfriend Lis Smith in hot tub of Jamaican family resort
Comment:  No photos? Spitzer is sucking the toes of his topless mistress in front of children and the Daily Mail has no photos. That's lazy journalism.   Rating ▲31

Inri Christo, the Brazilian man who thinks he's Jesus
Comment: That ginger apostle is hot. I'd preach her gospel every night and twice on Sundays.    Rating ▼0

Hey come on, she's no Mary Magdalene, but she's cute and has a nice rack.  If I go out in my bathrobe and sing a few hymns, can I collect a bunch of curvy apostles?

Karlie Kloss struggles to protect her modesty as she flashes some sideboob in flimsy white dress
Comment:  Modesty? Karlie should rent out her side boob as advertising space. It's always on display!   Rating ▲54

Seems that Karlie has already thought of this great idea.

Looks like she wants to make sure the Apple Logo on her side-boob is clearly visible.

Charlie Sheen issues thinly veiled threat to ex-wives Brooke Mueller and Denise Richards after getting sentimental new inking
Comment:  Charlie is living the American dream!!! His new wife is hot enough to thaw Iceland. All the best, dude!!!  Rating ▼38

Thank God for Charlie Sheen. Positive comments about Charlie, Justin Beiber or Hillary Clinton always result in a plethora of red arrows.