Friday, May 9, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 5/9/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Ivanka Trump hot
Trump Towers! Ivanka Trump looks statuesque in heels as she shows her figure in satin bustier and blush pink skirt
My Comment:   Gorgeous!  Ivana hump that Trump.  And just to be clear, I don't want to hump Ivana, I want to hump Ivanka.

Kim Kardashian hairy moustache mustache funny
Kim Kardashian drives camera-filled luxury car after attending gala event
My Comment:   Kim looks good with a moustache.   Maybe she should get a sex change.  Then she wouldn't have to pretend and could just become a fat slob like her brother.

funny Kim Kardashian cinco de mayo

This isn't the first time Kim Kardashian has grown out her facial hair.  Last year, for Cinco de Mayo, Kim made a controversial visit to Fox and Friends dressed as the "Least Interesting Man in the World."

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Australia The Voice breastfeeding breast feeding
Uncalled for!' The Voice Australia causes a social media storm after contestant's partner breastfeeds during live audition
My Comment:  She's got twice the talent of anybody on America's The Voice. Can she sing and breastfeed at the same time because that would be hot!  Rating ▼9

Australia The Voice breastfeeding breast feeding Carson Daly

Not to be outdone by the Australian affiliate, Carson Daly, the host of the U.S. The Voice, agreed to breastfeed on this week's show.

funny Americans fat dogs
She's been having too many bones! Inside the 'doggy fat camps' for America's 37 million obese pooches
My Comment:  Maybe Chris Christie should spend a couple of months there. New Jersey, where the dogs are fat, the Governor's stupid and the women have names like Snooki and JWoww.  Rating ▲4

George Clooney Amal Alamuddin hot
Details of the proposal: George Clooney 'cooked a meal at his LA mansion for Amal Alamuddin before getting down on one knee'
My Comment:  When George got down on one knee, did she have to help him up?  Because, you know, he's kind of old.  Rating ▲4

Interesting factoid: Rightwing nutjobbers in England don't hate George Clooney with the passion of Mel Gibson.

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