When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.
You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right? Right? Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.
Rejected Comments of the Past Week
Trump Towers! Ivanka Trump looks statuesque in heels as she shows her figure in satin bustier and blush pink skirt
My Comment: Gorgeous! Ivana hump that Trump. And just to be clear, I don't want to hump Ivana, I want to hump Ivanka.
Kim Kardashian drives camera-filled luxury car after attending gala event
My Comment: Kim looks good with a moustache. Maybe she should get a sex change. Then she wouldn't have to pretend and could just become a fat slob like her brother.
This isn't the first time Kim Kardashian has grown out her facial hair. Last year, for Cinco de Mayo, Kim made a controversial visit to Fox and Friends dressed as the "Least Interesting Man in the World."
Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.
Uncalled for!' The Voice Australia causes a social media storm after contestant's partner breastfeeds during live audition
My Comment: She's got twice the talent of anybody on America's The Voice. Can she sing and breastfeed at the same time because that would be hot! Rating ▼9
Not to be outdone by the Australian affiliate, Carson Daly, the host of the U.S. The Voice, agreed to breastfeed on this week's show.
My Comment: Maybe Chris Christie should spend a couple of months there. New Jersey, where the dogs are fat, the Governor's stupid and the women have names like Snooki and JWoww. Rating ▲4
Details of the proposal: George Clooney 'cooked a meal at his LA mansion for Amal Alamuddin before getting down on one knee'
My Comment: When George got down on one knee, did she have to help him up? Because, you know, he's kind of old. Rating ▲4
Interesting factoid: Rightwing nutjobbers in England don't hate George Clooney with the passion of Mel Gibson.