Thursday, May 22, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 5/22/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

funny daily mail comments

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Kim Kardashian sex in public bathroom
'North was conceived among Renaissance masterpieces': Kanye West reveals why he'll marry Kim Kardashian in the couple's secret favourite city Florence
My  Comment:  Impregnating Kim Kardashian in a public bathroom, in a museum, in Europe, is like farting in an elevator, every guy has done it -- we just don't admit it.

Debra Messing boobs cute and hot
Debra Messing reveals her newly slimline bikini body in a selfie after losing 20lbs 
My Comment:   Look!  She copyrighted her cute, little boobies, © Debra Messing 2014.  I'm going to copyright my penis selfies the next time Debbie and I are sexting so I look more professional.

Kanye West hoodie gangsta funny
Kim Kardashian steps out for pre-wedding work-out with fiance Kanye West
My Comment:   Good thing they're not getting married in Florida because Kanye would definitely get shot in that outfit.

If you gave Kanye a bag of Skittles, they'd be a line a mile long in Florida of guys wanting to shoot him dead.  TrooF.  Deal.

Khloe Kardashian Paris fat ugly funny
Kardashian Klan take Paris by storm
My Comment:   While she's in Europe, Khloe should lie down in the road and let The Beatles walk over her.  Because those are some WIDE stripes!

Khloe Kardashian lets a bunch of men walk all over her

Khloe always does what she's told.

 Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Robin Thicke wife Paula Patton funny dick
'I'd like to thank my wife!' Robin Thicke dedicates Billboard Award to Paula Patton as he unveils new love song she inspired
My Comment:  The song and the performance were bland, boring and nearly put me to sleep. Maybe it wasn't the cheating that drove his wife away, maybe it was his lack of passion.  Rating ▲17

Arnold Schwarzenegger old funny naked
iPumped! Arnold Schwarzenegger shows off his bulging pecs as he takes selfie on tablet during sunbathing session in Cannes
My Comment:  It looks like Arnold just had twins. Sagging boobs, flabby belly full of stretch marks and, is that a cesarean section scar? Somebody please help that old lady get out of her chair! Rating ▲1

Tara Erraught hot as Kim Kardashian
Opera world erupts with anger at 'sexist' comments by critics calling Tara Erraught 'stocky' and 'chubby'
My Comment:  She has the same body as a Kardashian. If Tara slept with a rapper, the Daily Mail would be telling us how fit her bikini body is after her grueling workout. Rating ▲17

Went all green this week.  Bummer.   I thought making fun of  mein favorite Black Plowman  would have garnered some hate but apparently there's no DM love for a rightwinger that plowed a Kennedy and his housekeeper.

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