Friday, March 20, 2015

Monologue Jokes I Tried to Sell to Jay Leno

Jay Leno jokes I sold not

The Gunman starring Sean Penn.  Because Liam Neeson was busy that week.

It's going to snow again in New York City and residents don't seem too happy about the idea of another 2 to 5 inches.  Kind of like when Jimmy Fallon and I take turns with my wife.

"I Pity the Tool." Not what my wife says, the new home improvement show starring Mr. T.

Kim Kardashian claims that she has sex with Kanye 500 times a day and still can't get pregnant.  Now we know what's inside her massive butt.

You think you have problems?  Did you hear about poor John Stamos?  After he has sex with women, they all want to take selfies.   Hey John, my sex life is selfies!

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