Friday, March 20, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 3/20/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

funny daily mail comments

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Bristol Palin engagement photo 2015 Dakota
Bristol Palin says she's engaged to Medal of Honor recipient 
My Comment:   Will the marriage last longer than the pregnancy?  Watch Bristol's new reality TV show coming this fall to find out!

I know what you're thinking.  Why would a smart, courageous young man get engaged to a brainless skank from the most dysfunctional family in America?

Bristol Palin Dakota Obama

Because he wants to run for congress and Obama is already married.

Simon COwell thums down up funny
She has no class, no taste, she'll never work again': Louis Walsh says Natalia Kills will never get hired after bullying a contestant on The X Factor
My Comment:   Simon Cowell has no class, no taste, impregnated his best friend's wife and is an insufferable bully -- and he has a great career.  I think she'll go far.

Chloe Sevigny lobster hot naked
Chloe Sevigny poses for provocative naked cover shoot with BIZARRE lobster prop between her legs

My Comment:  Sevigny juice has just replaced garlic butter as my favorite lobster accompaniment.

My Comment:  Dangle your red wiggler anywhere near Chloe's honey pot and it's liable to get snipped off.

My Comment:  Look! Look, one crawled behind the refrigerator. It'll turn up in our bed at night.  Looks like Woody Allen was right.

The extremely rare triple rejection sulkow.

Busy Phillips funny
She's keeping Busy! Ms Philipps wears two bright dresses in one day as she is honoured for her children's charity work 
My Comment:   I wouldn't mid getting busy with Busy.  Philling her lips with mine.  Getting our Freak and Geek on as we... or screw it, this'll never get accepted.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Elton John Victoria Beckham
Is the boycott over already, Elton? John holds a D&G shopping bag in LA just one day after furious row with designers who called IVF babies 'synthetic'
My Comment:   Give Elton a break, that bag is adorable!  Rating ▼118

Dolce & Gabbana controversy
Dolce & Gabbana under fire AGAIN as critics discover ad that depicts 'woman being gang raped' 
My Comment:  Dolce & Gabana are obviously trying to appeal to college frat boys. Anything for money, this is the U$.  Rating ▲9

Chloe Sevigny lobster hot naked
Chloe Sevigny poses for provocative naked cover shoot with BIZARRE lobster prop between her legs
My Comment:  I've dated a girl with crabs but this is ridiculous! Rating ▲2

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again -- until your pleopods are snuggled deeply into the folds of  of Chloe Sevigny's nether regions.

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