Thursday, March 26, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 3/26/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

'There was a lot of sighing and tutting': Simon Cowell hits out at 'grumpy' airline passenger who complained about baby Eric on long-haul flight
My Comment:  I heard the kid was a bastard on the flight.  Which is funny because the kid really is a bastard.  Simon impregnated his best friend's wife while she was married to the friend.  Cheeky bastard.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Cindy Crawford goes braless in white mesh dress during sexy shoot
My Comment:  Cindy looks like she's fallen and she can't get up... but I rubbed one out to her 25 years ago and I'll probably rub one out in her honor tonight.  Rating ▲0

Not much of a comment but now I know that "rub one out" will get through the censors.  Sweet.

Has Kim Kardashian ruined her hair? Reality star's blonde locks look frazzled after bleaching THREE times.
My Comment:  She's ruined her butt, she's ruined her face, now she's ruined her hair. At least she's consistent.   Rating ▲25

Her little co-star! Kylie Jenner cuddles up to her new puppy Bambi after filming pooch's first scene for KUWTK
My Comment:  Can you imagine the horrible, horrible things that dog will see?!? Bambi should write a book. If Kylie can write a book, I'm sure a dog can. Rating ▲2

Damn, that dog is quick.  Probably figures that by next week she'll be replaced by the latest lip gloss.

Whoa, I found another at Amazon.  Smart dog, somebody has to pay for her kibble and kokaine.

The Daily Mail is truly the paper of record.

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