Friday, August 7, 2009

John Hughes and My Vagina

John Hughes had a major influence on me. Not through his movies, although I liked a bunch of them, but with his writing at National Lampoon.

My Vagina published in April 1979 was the funniest damn thing I had ever read. It was about a typical teenage guy that wakes up one morning to find that his penis has been replaced with a vagina. Not only was it very funny, it was also the kind of thing I wanted to write.

Vacation '58 was great, when the aunt dies, shit! It was way better than the movie.

I never realized it before today, but I have been ripping off his Engagement Guide for the past 10 years. An excerpt:

Question: "What is at the core of our current problems with Mexico?"

If she answers: "I just love this song, turn it up! Oooo, I love the nightlife!" She is a dumbass.

If she answers: "You haven't phrased the question very well. Are you referring to the natural-gas pricing debacle or the general ill feeling toward the Yanqui?" She is a smartass.

If she answers: "We're not very nice to them; let's fuck, then I'll make you dinner and vacuum out your car." Don't wait for the wedding. Elope and buy her anything she wants.

I found a pirated version of My Vagina on a transgender site! Enjoy.

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