I know. I've become completely obsessed with the incredible crappiness of these cartoons. I promise to cut it back to once a week, next week. Here's the standard lead in:
The Wall Street Journal has a daily cartoon called Pepper and Salt that I really, really don't like. Apparently, rich Wall Street scumbags have their own unique form of humor that is not funny. Here's today's cartoon.
I swear that you couldn't pay a guy to draw and write a worse cartoon. What kind of Wall Street guy wears a jacket with zippers on the sleeves? And if you can't really draw a citronella candle? Don't put it on the table. It doesn't add anything to the unfunny punchline involving expensive vacations.
Remember this is a "business" comic for Wall Street Journal readers that is officially housed in the collections of the Harvard Business School Library assuring that future generations of MBA assholes will have no sense of humor. Here's my attempt at funnier versions. If you are the president of a major university and want to house a collection of my work, e-mail me.
Apparently the policy here is "Only Bitches Get Coasters."
Not only won't you get lucky, I believe your October call options just expired.
Finish your drink. We have to get to our Botox appointments. We both look like shit.
Spit or swallow? I can have my Dominican cleaning lady do either one.
And today's winner, so far.
As always, I will continue to add captions to this post all day until I think of something funny. You are invited to help but you won't because leaving a comment is too much damn effort, bitch.
Yesterday's attempt - More Wall Street Journal Humor
Last week's attempt - Wall Street Journal Humor is a Bitch