Thursday, August 26, 2010

Good Christian Team Mascots Not Un-American Demon Mascots

Funny Pastor Donald Crosby I believe that we are truely blessed that a man like Pastor Donald Crosby is brave enough to protect our children (unfortunately, the only photo I could find of Pastor Crosby is from those heathens at Over in Georgia, Pastor Crosby has been arrested by the Warner Robins police for the crime of Protesting While Christian! The entire, heartbreaking story is here.

Warner Robins DemonThe school administration at Warner Robins High School is secretly turning our children into worshippers of Satan by holding up the demon as a false idol. Nightly crowds of impressionable children cheer for the Demons when they should be embracing Our Savior Jesus Christ.

Sexy Jesus Christ the Hunk MascotLook at the guns on Our Lord! Is He saving souls or posing for the cover of a romance novel? Both. Is there a better mascot for a football or basketball team than Our own Rough and Tumble Savior? If you are the Lubbock Lambs, that image might not put the fear of God into you, but the Duke Blue Devils will be cowering in their locker room of sin.

Wake up, Christians!!! Back in biblical times, when God blessed America, He envisioned a time in the far future when 228 million of His Christian Soldiers would rise up against their oppressors in Washington, D.C.

That time is upon U.S.

I did extensive research on the internet for five minutes and discovered that some Courageous Christian schools have adopted acceptable mascots for their teams. Let's follow their blessed example and march forth with Pastor Crosby as Good Christian Crusaders for Our America. Sometimes it is Right and Righteous to be Followers!!!

The Good folks at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia have named their team after their founder, Right Reverend Jerry Fallwell. Here's a photograph of the mascot of the Liberty Fightin' Fallwells, Jerry Falls Well!

fat Jerry FallwellThat ain't right. That's just an actual photo of the Right Reverend Jerry Fallwell.

Jerry Fallwell mascot

That's better. Sinners beware! The Fightin' Fallwells will smash that line!

College of the Holy Cross in TaxandJewsetts is a Catholic institution. I know that as far as Christians go, Catholics are not much better than the Jew or the Hindu, yet, these are the sort of Christians that are daring enough to name their team the Holy Cross Papists.

That's Beatic Benny flagellating the masses into a frenzy.

While researching this article I came across this strange photograph of the Pope at last year's All Hallows Eve Ball.

Are we sure that Catholics are Christians?

Perhaps the most famous date in religious mascot history is November 31, 2009. The day the Southwest Nazarene Fightin' Jesuses of Idaho met the Baruch College Chosen Ones of New York City.

Fightin Jesuses team Mascot Christian

Holy Moses, that was a massacre! Baruch's offensive line parted like the Red Sea resulting in 24 sacks of their quarterback, Marty "The Mensch" Markowitz. Final score? Christians 78, Jews 0.

Props to Ironicus Maximus and Seeing Eye Chick for the inspiration.


  1. That rates a double Har de Har with a snap on the Ironicus Maximus Secular scale of evil jocularity (btw You're going to hell).

    Next up: The Sisters of the Order of Perpetual Fist Pump will lead us all in the imprecatory prayer "Smite the heathen defense Jesus" after which they will preform the holy basket catch

  2. Ironicus,

    Thanks for the comment and the inspiration!


  3. Bobby,

    Do those American flags keep the demon at bay or are they there to cancel out his satanic evil?

    Love those shiny red leather pants! I bet Sarah Palin had a pair of those when she was "raising hell" at Southeastern Idaho Community College.

    Well done, Sir. Playing 18 with Fallwell tomorrow and will be sure to show this to him when we get back to the clubhouse.


  4. Bill,

    Thanks for the comment!

    Those American flags are for cancelling out evil because I don't think that demon can move -- its a statue mascot not a guy in a suit mascot.

    It looks like that demon is wearing Ronald Reagan's belt buckle. And if you blow out his pitchfork does your wish come true?

    Not thrilled with that Jerry Fallwell. Looking at it now, I wish I had taken a few minutes to turn his face JabbaTheHut green.