Friday, March 21, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 3/21/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Angus T Jones Christian nutjob
Bearded former Two and a Half Men child star opens up about his embrace of Christianity and why he left the $350,000-per-week windfall for Jesus
My Comment:  Forget the lies they teach you in church and remember this truth, "Jesus hates a douchebag."

Lindsay Lohan covered in STDs
Revealed! Now Orlando Bloom, Ashton Kutcher and Ryan Phillippe named on Lindsay Lohan's list of 36 celebrity lovers
My Comment:  She's the new Typhoid Mary.   Thanks to Lindsay Lohan, every decent looking chap in Hollywood has herpes, hepatitis and the clap.  She should be put in quarantine for the good of all mankind.

Add a couple of more celebs to the list of guys who I will never be sharing a joint with.

This photo with the following caption appeared in an article about gays and the New York City St. Paddy's Day parade.

Michael Bloomberg Irish
Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, an Irish American, marched in the parade every year he was in office.
My Comment:   Mikey Bloomberg is as Irish as I am.  His father was Patty O'Bloom from County Kike.  Mikey changed his name when he went into the financial business in order to avoid the Irish prejudice inherent within the system.

Kim Kardashian big butt funny
Kim Kardashian shows off her curvaceous derriere in figure hugging skirt.
My Comment:  My grandmother used to say, "If you can't hide it, paint it red."  Is there any red paint left in Los Angeles?

If you look closely at Kim Kardashian's ample butt, you can clearly see  Phobos and Deimos, the moons of Mars.  I watched Cosmos on Fox at 9:00 EDT last Sunday and learned that the moons got confused and began orbiting Kim during her third trimester.  Cosmos on Fox, entertaining and educational!

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Justin Beiber addidas
Who needs Jimi Hendrix! Justin Bieber poses with a guitar as he stars in new ad campaign for Adidas.
My Comment:  Justin is the man and it's a good-looking shoe. Sweet. I'm gonna get me mom to buy me some. I am a Beibeliever!  Rating ▼26

I got another comment through.  But it got deleted.  I rant on and on about here.

No comments:

Post a Comment