Friday, September 19, 2014

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 9/19/14

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Lucy Mecklenburg sexy orange
Tumble star Lucy Mecklenburgh showcases her athletic physique
My Comment:  
Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you

Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get when you spray on a tan?
Ending up all orange like an orangutan
Worrying too much about the way that you look?
Lucy'd be more attractive if she opened a book.

Oompa Loompa's are a very judgmental people.

Posh Spice Victoria Beckham plastic surgery scary
'I'll be behind the till!' Victoria Beckham heads to check on her flagship store as she reveals 'David will be on the door and Brooklyn working as a Saturday boy' 
My Comment:  If she smiled at a customer would the stitches behind her ears pop out, and her face fly off?  Posh Spice has become Scary Spice.

 Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Kim Kardashian stupid
As if it wasn't hot enough already! Kim Kardashian sizzles in white crop top and tight skirt as she steps out on sweltering LA day
My Comment:  That skirt is stupider than Kim. Preggo Kourtney looks better and more comfortable.  Rating ▲12

Joan Rivers dead selfie
Joan Rivers's doctor 'took a SELFIE' with her as she was under anesthesia
My Comment:  If you take a selfie with Joan Rivers, you're gonna look good because that woman looks freaky! Rating ▼8

Isis King hot
Transgender model who found fame on America's Next Top Model 'struggles to find love because she was born in a male body' 
My Comment:  She is beautiful!  Maybe ISIS isn't the best name for on-line dating.  She should change her name to Emily or Kate.  Rating ▼63

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