Monday, April 6, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 3/26/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Scott Disnick Kylie Jenner hook up
Scott Disnick poses with Kylie at Kourtney's Pool 
My Comment:  When Scott Disnick gets blind drunk, which is daily, do you think he has a klue which kuntry he's in?

I thought my klever use of k's would sneak this by the kensors.

Amanda Holden nipples nips oops slip
'It's something I've suffered with all my life': Amanda Holden reveals she has to wear nipple covers for daytime TV modesty
My Comment:  She's suffered her whole life with being extremely horny?  Me, too.  We should hang out together.

Sometimes, when I think about all the suffering in the world, I need to rub one out.

Khloe Kardashian worried Rob
Desperate Khloe Kardashian breaks down while pleading with brother Rob to accept help
My Comment:   When you're the ugliest Kardashian, you have to pretend to be concerned about your loser brother.  It's in the script.

Bella Thorne hot
Bella Thorne oozes heaps of sophistication in a chic grey dress and a tailored cream coat
My Comment:   If I ooze heaps of cream on Bella Thorne's coat will I be sophisticated?

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Victoria Beckham easter happy
Egging him on! David Beckham and son Brooklyn share pictures of their Easter hunt... as Victoria gets her bake on at home
My Comment:  What was she baking? A cold, icy stare?  Rating ▲58

And because I care, and I already went through the trouble of erasing all the background anyway, a Victoria Beckham Halloween mask.    Guaranteed to shrivel up the most stubborn eggplant.  Not suitable for children, pregnant women or people with heart conditions.

Victoria Beckham halloween mask costume funny

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