Thursday, April 9, 2015

This Week's Rejected Daily Mail Comments -- 4/9/15

Another Post Courtesy of the The Daily Mail - I kid Rupert Murdoch a lot when we see each other at the Friar's Club but his rag does supply an endless assortment of crap for my blog.

When you really, really need to see celebrity nipples poking through skintight blouses there is only one place to go on the web, the The Daily Mail. Now there's another reason to visit The Daily Mail, a new game for killing time at work. The goal is to get as many red down arrows as possible when you comment on their articles.

You'd think it would be easy. The Daily Mail is just like the New York Post except it's targeted at toothless limeys instead of toothless guys from Staten Island. Work some pro-ObamaCare into your comment, maybe a gay marriage doesn't really hurt anyone, and those red arrows will start piling up, right?  Right?  Wrong. The problem is you have to get your comments through those warehouses full of censors housed somewhere just east of Mumbai.

Rejected Comments of the Past Week

Kanye Kim Kardashian go to church Easter funny
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West take North to church as they celebrate Easter
My Comment:  If Kim goes to church regular, prays for forgiveness, and stops sinning, Jesus will put a baby in her belly.  I mean Jesus the gardener, obviously Kanye's shooting blanks.

Are we sure they're going to church?  It looks like the Yeezus Tour went so badly,  Kanye is taking on work as a house painter.

Kendall Jenner hot church Easter
Is that REALLY suitable for church? Kendall Jenner bares midriff in crop top for Easter service... then posts naked bunny snap 
My Comment:  At the Khurch of Kardashian all manner of wardrobe are accepted equally, be they midriffs, nipple exposing tight tops, or painter rags full of rips and hos.  Remember that Our Savior Kim went down on a rapper for our sins ON VIDEO. 

Kendall Jenner Kardashian Easter card hot funny

And so have I.

Mindy Kaling hot dating funny
Mindy Kaling denies knowing her brother pretended to be black when he applied to medical school 
My Comment:  You know what's funny?  Mindy pretended to be white on Tinder.  After meeting for coffee, I hooked up with her anyway because she was nice and nice looking.

Kelly Brook hot pose missionary funny
Kelly Brook shows off her yoga skills and ample assets
My Comment:  My yoga instructor used to call that The Missionary Position.

Accepted Comments

Sometimes I do get a comment through the censors. Remember my goal is to get as many red arrows as possible.

Tom Cruise mad disowned Suri Scientology
Tom Cruise 'hasn't seen eight-year-old daughter Suri in over a year'... as he starts work on 90-day shoot in Atlanta
My Comment:  Because Tom is a Mormon, he only really cares about his son. If Suri was with Tom, she would have to share her husband with other women so she is better off with her mom.  Rating ▼392

 Mormons really don't like Tom Cruise or being compared to Scientology.   In addition to the red disapproval, I got over 20 comments on the idiocy of my comment.  I felt bad so I responded.

My Comment on the Comments:  Scientology? I apologize. Sometimes I get those wacky tax-exempt cults confused.   Rating ▲14

Mormons are a forgiving people.

Tom Cruise not Mormon South Park funny

I do apologize, but in my defense, like most people,  I get all of my Mormon and Tom Cruise knowledge  from South Park.  And that is clearly Tom Cruise leading the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

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