Thursday, September 24, 2009

Office High Jinks 101 - A New Use for a Very Old Joke

Old jokes never die. They get reused, recycled and reduced to timeless office pranks.

I work in a cubicle. Every week a couple of people visit me for help with mindless stuff. Sometimes we have to look at my monitor as I explain for the 427th time how to do something mind-numbing, sometimes we don't, but always my computer monitor looks like this.

I got that stunning image at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab website. Once or twice a month, an unsuspecting co-worker will say something like, "Gee whiz, that's a nice picture. What is it?"

That's when I get to say, "It's a photo of your anus." Then, depending on who the visitor is, Steve (the guy who sits in the cubicle next to me) and I either laugh uproariously for the umpteenth time or struggle to not laugh (for the umpteenth time).

Of course there are endless riffs you can play. When Joe, the 50 year old manager from Accounting, responds with "Uranus, looks like that? Well, I never."

You can follow up with,

"Your anus never looked so good!"


"Your anus was always my favorite when I was a kid."

or the ever popular

"Not my anus, your anus!"

When that cute P.R. person says, "I never knew Uranus was so beautiful."

You can counter with, "If you think my anus is beautiful, stick around. I use a photo of my dick as a screensaver." Don't really do that. Keep the shop talk centered on your anus.

Trust Steve and me. It never gets old. It's also fun to watch their reaction when the lights in their heads finally go on. Where I work, these lights usually take a long time and are exceedingly dim. Your results may vary.

Who knew Uranus could be so good for workplace morale?

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